crazypurplewombat

Battersea Rises

2011-08-21T13:16:00.007+01:00

On Monday 8th August, the unimaginable happened & a mob of greedy, selfish thugs started "rioting" & primarily looting shops in nearby Clapham Junction.

I sat in my bedroom & heard the sirens, saw the glow from the flames of a fire which had been lit in the fancy dress shop & smelled the smoke... a few minutes before it really started I'd been on facebook, reassuring friends from around the UK, as well as in Australia & the USA that I was in a safe, quiet community, nothing like the area's which I had already heard on the news had been attacked... I was wrong!

It was surreal, to be honest... this dreadful beahviour, so nearly impossible to get your head around was on the major news channels & updates were happening in between programming on tv, but at the same time I could see & hear the helicopter from my bed where I was half sitting, half lying & typing on my laptop...

It was on my laptop that I watched a video, uploaded to youtube, which showed the very store where I had purchased it being looted... The guy making the video asked one woman, "Are you proud of what you're doing? Why are you doing this?" Her response was, "To get my taxes back..."

Seriously??? Are you honestly so ignorant & downright stupid to think that your taxes are somehow floating around in the ether, just waiting for you to claim in the form of burglary? Do you think that everyone else who wants or needs a computer just walks into a shop & steals it, or could it be possible that we work hard & save our money to purchase one??? Do you think your taxes are not used to help you? If, indeed you pay taxes (& I must say I have serious doubts as to the possibility of this...) do you never, ever visit a doctor or purchase a subsidised prescription, walk on a footpath, travel on a road, call on police, ambulance or fire brigades? I strongly supect this woman lives in housing subsidised by our taxes... Well, when I say "our taxes" I doubt she is included in that! I wanted to slap her, & I am so non-violent that it's hard for me to admit to that emotional reaction! Especially so publicly!

I was awake until at least 2am, around which time the mob started to disperse... probably because they had already got their hands on as much of the valuable goods as they could... The department store, Debenhams, was looted - as were JD Sports, The Foot Locker, 3 jewellery shops, an independant electrical goods shop, the aforementioned Curry's, at least 3 mobile phone stores, Boots (the chemist) & TK Maxx... also shops which had little of interest to the looters were vandalised, including small, family-run cafe's, a Greggs bakery, a Christian Book Shop, 2 stationers, a carpet shop, 2 hairdressers, at least 3 charity shops (charity shops which exist to help people & organisations & which are run on voluntary staffing & donations from the public!) 2 supermarkets, the local post office, 3 banks (they tried to get to money in the ATMs & although they damaged them beyond repair, they were unsuccessful!), bars, restaurants, fast food shops (including Subway, KFC & Wimpeys) Starbucks (with every window smashed despite the fact that there would have been nothing of real value within it!) and many other small shops, & outlets... the total number of people employed by these businesses would be significant.

The worst thing, however, was the Party Shop... I visit it sometimes, having purchased a wig for my 'Nessa costume (for Dragon*Con) as well as various bits & bobs for party costumes & putting on celebrations with the children I've nannied in this area... most recently I bought a pair of fairy wings & a pink tiara for the Race for Life. These morons broke in, stole masks to cover their faces (in a vain attempt to avoid being recognised on CCTV) & then SET FIRE TO IT! Not only did the shop go up in flames, with many canisters of helium gas inside, but there are several flats above it, & people were in them! A family were fortunate to escape quickly before their home & all their possessions were incinerated, but others were afraid to evacuate, fearing they would be attacked by the irrational mob in the street below... the bravery of the people who helped to evacuate them & the firemen who worked hard to put the blaze out cannot be overestimated! I feel so grateful to them for protecting us under the most difficult of circumstances!

I was relieved to head to France with the family I live & work with the next day, although London was on high alert for more possible trouble... even as we (my employer, Alex, & I) drove out of London, we saw small shops, & superstores alike, shuttered & closed by 3pm, as well as a significant number of petrol stations... which, meant it was difficult for us to find one open, & when we did there was quite a queue!

A week later I returned to the Junction to shop (having been in France for the interveining 6 days) & the photos I took of the recovery one week on inspired me to make an album on facebook. I included press photographs of the night itself & the following day, as well as the pictures I took on Mon 15th August... I am proud to be part of this community! Battersea certainly rose to the challenge, & I was reminded of the spirit of the British people in WWII... not that one night's mindless greed & violence can be compared to the months of bombing & deprivation which the people suffered at that time, but the fact that mindless, selfish violence has no chance of overpowering the community spirit... I firmly believe Battersea will rise up stronger as time goes by...

If you wish to see the album it can be viewed here: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150261049286987.322019.603506986&l=f6fa0068a1&type=1 (sorry, it looks like you might need to copy & past this into your address bar on your browser...)

My review of "Death's Daughter" by Amber Benson

2011-04-04T22:17:00.005+01:00

Death's Daughter by Amber Benson

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Having just finished reading the first solo effort as an author by the remarkable Amber Benson, I have to say I was really surprised! I was quite caught up in the continuing & sometimes very unexpected adventures of Calliope, who is also the middle daughter or none other than Death (yeah... The Grim Reaper... that's the one!), himself!

It took me a little while to get into the style of first person inner monologue, perhaps because Calliope - also known as Calli to her friends & family - has such different aspirations from me... I can think of nothing less likely to cause me to sever ties to my family than a career in fashion publishing in New York City... but this is what she has her heart set on. To her credit she is doing the hard yards, so the story does take a dramatic turn when she has to return to her family, a journey of self discovery, as well as one which incorporates forays into Hell itself...

Without giving too much away, Amber Benson gives some wonderfully vivid, but succinct, descriptions of situations, emotions & physical experiences which really put you in the characters shoes throughout the story... There are so many twists & turns, & whilst I had my suspicions about the ultimate culprit, I was not prepared for all the details when the truth came out. In some ways I was sorry the story ended when it did, & there are still mysteries to solve & people to (hopefully) find who were lost at the end of the last book!

For anyone who enjoys a good fantasy mystery, or even a paranormal romance I would recommend you try this book out! For me, I am about to open the pages of "Cat's Claws" the follow up novel, as soon as I complete this review!

View all my reviews

twists & turns...

2011-03-28T22:46:00.010+01:00

Let's face it, 2010 was a really tough year for me, & I was looking forward to 2011 as a way of putting some of the hardest experiences of my life behind me. Of course the sense of loss, after my beautiful mother passed away last September, will possibly never be 'behind me' and with each new anniversary or moment which reminds me of some aspect of her personality, I feel the grief again, but I am in a place now where I am so grateful for the 43 years of my life which I got to share with her, & for the opportunity to say goodbye, which so many people never get.

I am also finding that, while I value myself as an individual who doesn't need a man in my life, I am looking forward again & hope to find someone special to spend time with... To this end I have done something I never really thought I ever would, & I have joined a 'online dating service'. eHarmony actually call themselves a 'relationship' site rather than a 'dating' site, which is supposed to help attract people of both sexes who are looking for a meaningful relationship rather than just hooking up with people of the opposite sex for more casual interaction. So far I have seen some very nice & very interesting men pop up on there, but I am taking things slowly, making minimal contact with just a few of them. We'll see what happens...

I am also on the hunt for a new family to live & work with... My beautiful Zach, & his lovely parents are anticipating the arrival of new baby in May, & Ali has decided to extend her maternity leave & enjoy being a full-time Mummy for a while. While I am very sad to be leaving such a caring, wonderful family & a home & job I love, I am also thrilled for them that they are on the brink of welcoming a new baby into their family, & I know I will keep in close contact with them in the coming weeks & months... with this in mind I have been focusing my job-hunting efforts on the local area, & have had a very promising interview with an Australian family who live about 15-20 mins walk from my current home. I have my fingers crossed!

One of the most positive things I have done this year is seek couselling, something I would recommend for anyone going through grief, loss, hurt or confusion which they are stuggling with. In my case it was a really a combination of so many very difficult events of the past 12-18 months, topped off with the fact that while I have some wonderful friends here in London, I do not have my very closest friends who know me inside out & whom I feel completely free to pour my heart out to... Naomi is an amazing cousellor & I see her once a week, on a Friday evening, & she has asked me questions I've never asked myself! It's an amazing journey exploring my personality & finding out how strong I really am!

I am also feeling very blessed by the friends I do have, and am making more time to spend with them! In the last couple of weeks I have seen "The Compete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged)" with my gorgeous 2nd cousin (& adopted little sister) Siobhan, and last weekend went with my friend Bridie to see "Hairspray" starring Michael Ball, Marty Dolenz & the amazing Laurie Scarth as Tracy Turnblatt! I love every moment I get to spend with these beautiful friends & family! I treasure them more than I ever did!

I am not so good at phoning or skyping or even writing emails home, but I do try to write on facebook every day & upload photos I am constantly taking of my life from my own, unique pespective... I even have a themed collection of photos titled, "Lost" which show various items I see every day, on the footpath, sitting incongruously on fences & even lying in the gutter...

I am really enjoying reading more books & watching more films, having managed to see "The King's Speech", "The Social Network" & "Black Swan in the cinema this year & also catching up on some older titles on DVD... I even watch "Castle" staring Nathan Fillion & Stana Katic most weeks, & also love "True Blood" of which season 3 is currently screening in the UK at present! I am currently reading 2 boks right now - "Death's Daughter" by Amber Benson, & "The Time Travellers Guide to Medieval England". Two very different books, & I am really enjoying both of them!

So, I shall be moving on at Easter, perhaps watching less of my favourite shows (depending on whether I manage to have Sky TV at my next home or not), continue to watch films & theatre, perhaps keep up with my blog a little better, hear the voices of my loved ones & possibly even meet someone special! Who knows what else 2011 will hold for me!

I want to be a Billionaire, so freaking bad...

2011-01-16T15:00:00.007Z

So... I was thinking about this song, as I listened to the words & my mind started wandering... "so what's new?" I hear every single person out there who's ever known me, ask!

I wondered what I would do with a billion pounds? I know some things right away, but it could be tricky!

Let's pretend I win a billion pounds tomorrow... (Oh, I know you've all done this before, but...) would I quit a job I love? Would I leave London? Would I travel the world? Would I have an amazing party? Would I study whatever I wanted, without worrying about fees & living expenses?

All of the above, perhaps, but not right away... I think...

No. 1 - I LOVE my job! No, I am not just saying that either - I love the people I work for & live with, I adore their little boy, I am excited about being a part of his life during the next year &, indeed, being a part of the whole family as the year unfolds! I enjoy the community we live in, the frinds we spend time with, the people I am getting to know outisde 'work' hours... I have no intention of leaving just yet! A billion pounds in the bank would just mean that when the time comes to move on, I won't have to look for another job!

No. 2 - I would immediately pay off both my sisters' & my best frend's mortgages! They are so precious to me, & they would deserve some of my windfall even if it was something fairly mundane like a mortgage... I would like to know that they would never have to worry about job security, interest rates or balancing th books in the tough times again! They give me so much more than money, & I give them so little in return...

No. 3 - I would buy a home in London, Melbourne & Boston (which I love) & make sure they were dwellings with warmth & plenty of space for friends & family to stay! (Don't we all dream of a something like that?)

No.4 - I would pay for my family & friends to visit me in London! I mean I want to share the places I love & enjoy, & to share some wonderful memories with! The downside of living so far away from my loved-ones, means I don't get to share my special experiences with them... Perhaps I could have a huge browncoat shindig in London, & even manage to set up a really strong London chapter of browncoats, so that we could found strong friendships & establish a fund-raising culture which would help those less fortunate... which also leads me to....

No. 5 - What Browncoat would't spend a wee bit of their billion pounds on a sequel to Serenity! Perhaps even get a spin off or a new series of Firefly! I would commission the 'Shakespeare of our times', Mr Joss Whedon, to write & direct such a film... & I would ask for all my browncoat friends to be extras in it!! *giggles*

No. 6 - you know I would donate lots to charity, Cancer Research would top that list. Charities which support children & families, people in countries where there is a lack of clean water medicine, good food... schools, education, equality between races & sexes. I probably look to Oprah Winfrey for inspiration... say whatever you like, this lady is amazing at sharing her wealth with those in need & for setting up charities which will continue to do so for many, many years to come.

No. 7 - Random Acts of Kindness! I have always wanted to do those remarkable things that change people's lives anonymously, & such a wealth of fortune would make it so much fun! Imagine you're walking down the street & you see some elderly lady trying to tape a broken window & you could just phone a glazier & ask them to come & quote on double glazing for the whole dwelling & pay for it all without her knowing who her benefactor was! Imagine seeing someone struggilng with an old bomb of a car on a cold morning & making their dreams come true by purchasing them a useful, reliable new car! Imagine the amazing things you can do! I love to do little things, like openning doors for mother's with buggies, buying an elderly lady a cup of coffee when I see she's struggling to find the change in her purse for such a purchase... It's a selfish wish, because I would feel so so SO good about myself if I did these things!!

No. 8 - book a session with Gok Wan to have my wardrobe completely overhauled with things that suit me & my figure! He is an amazing man from whom I have learned so much, & he strikes me as genuinely caring for others, despite his "girlfriend" monikers & slick, rhyming fashion tips! There is a dream of mine to shop for a small, but really striking wardrobe of clothes that suit my shape & personality & I would trust Gok with that completely!Oh, & I would definitely need my bestest friend with me for this one - itwould more than double the joy!

No. 9 - buy my Daddy a really lovely new home near to where he now lives... since my beautiful mother passed away in September, he hasn't felt an attachment to the home they shared for almost 40 years. I would love to find him something single storey, convenient, homely & near our family home, where he could make a new life for himself without the memories he finds so difficult, but with space for his collections of... "stuff"... Yeah - I take after my Daddy alright!

No. 10 - I would finally get to visit my God son, Johnny, who currently thinks I am his imaginary friend... he sees photos of me, & has conversations with me in my absence, he says I go to the park with him, but he doesn't seem to realise I am real!! LOL! I have never been anyone's imaginary friend before! I would do everything in my power to let the children in my life know how precious they are to me! From my very adored nieces & nephews, to the children I've nannied for so long, I would do little things to help them on their way - perhaps trust funds for education, pay for them to visit their capital cities for museum visits, festivals of significance, travel to London to see their crazy Auntie Emmi! And of course I could fly over to visit them a whole lot more!!

So... now I've written down my inital dreams, what do I wish for most? Things that nobody on earth can buy... just ask Christina Onassis... Love, someone to share my life with... Children to help to raise & to love for all my life... (I do have the privilege of caring for children & sharing their lives, but nobody will ever call me, "Mummy" & that currently breaks my heart) & opportunities to spend time with family & friends! I am sure I'll keep thinking of things for days, weeks, months to come... but the things that matter most I can do right now! Show people I love them, do things to help others, live for the moment! spend time with friends & family, learn, grow, love, live!

Perhaps I don't need to be a billionaire...?

Pondering the Poms...

2010-10-31T22:58:00.003Z

I was thinking of a couple of little things which I have noticed while living in the UK, which might not register or count enough to write about anywhere, but I thought I would write anyway!

Gravy is much thinner in the UK! Seriously! When I was living at Pear Tree Farm I would often make gravy to go with sausages or roast or some other dish, and the kids would complain that the gravy was too thick! I just thought they were funny about liking thin gravy, but I have since realised that almost anywhere I have had a meal with gravy it's been very thin by comparisson to the gravy's my grandmother & mother always made! I have a theory... During the war years, & for about a decade afterwards, rationing was very strict & so little flour was available that it would have been foolish to use much of it on an 'extra' like gravy, even if you had meat to cook & dripping to make into gravy! I honestly don't know if that's the reason, but it would make sense to me if it was!

You cannot get Tim Tams, Cherry Ripe's, Twisties or Mint Slice biscuits in the UK... now how can that be right? On the other hand, you can get pork crackling as a bar snack, roast beef & horseradish flavoured crisps & when cooking a roast, one usually uses goose fat for optimum flavour!

You cannot get Mountain Dew in a regular shop here in the UK... just specialty shops like those who import 'candy' from the USA & I have discovered an Asian market which imports it in cans from China!

Fanta is the wrong colour & totally the wrong flavour! Sure, it might be more 'natural' than the colour we have in Australia, but it tastes horrible! Blech!

I really, really miss the Australian rock music I grew up with, not to mention local bands who were popular in the 1980s, which I would hear on the radio from time to time... AC/DC gets played, sometimes, but you never hear The Angels, Dragon, The Models, The Machinations, The Church, The Hoodoo Guru's, Kids in the Kitchen, I'm Talking or Kate Ceberano, Psuedo Echo or (one of my very favourite bands) Real Life!

I really love that I can walk down the street & see snippets of history around me... a row of horrible brown brick houses in the middle of a beautiful Victorian Terrace, courtesy of the Blitz & the quick replacement of buildings during WWII. Also due to WWII are the tarmac platforms at the end of my street, which were the placements for anti-aircraft guns!

I am loving the access to family history resources which are available over here! I have made so many new breakthroughs, not just on the 'net, but in the libraries & repositories of London & Stoke-on-Trent, & I hope to travel more in the near future to cover more sites of family history significance!

long time... no blog.

2010-10-31T22:50:00.002Z

From looking at the post I last wrote I can tell it's been a very long time since I last wrote in here... I knew I had just returned from Boston, & I knew I was positively giddy with love. I just haven't wanted to come in here since then...

3 weeks after I returned to London from visiting Frank, he told me he was seeing someone else. I was shattered. It has taken a long time to want to come in here & change what I wrote - I haven't even read what I wrote back then, but I think it is fair to admit that I believed I was in a relationship which had honesty, love & committment... I was wrong. Well, I guess it did have those things, but apparently it was one-sided.

Enough said - six months on, I am ready to consider dating again, if I find someone I feel I might trust again. The worst thing about all this is that it's not the first time a relationship has ended with a 3rd party involved... it's not even the 2nd, and if you want the honest truth, I suspect there have been 3 previous occasions... I just never thought that after 2 years Frank would be so cruel as to end things the way he did. I do not hate him, nor even feel anger towards him. He is 'broken', damaged by his previous relationships, but that doesn't excuse his behaviour towards me. I just feel sad for him.

Anyway - enough - that's all! On to other things...

Frank & 'the girls'

2010-03-15T22:00:00.012Z

I returned home from a lovely holiday in Boston last night. It was, as always, difficult to say goodbye, and that is not just to Frank. Every time I visit my lovely man, I fall in love a little more with the beautiful city of Boston, it's history, it's culture, it's restaurants & eating places & it's natural beauty! Every trip I spend time with friends whom I love more & more with every hour spent in their company. Every time I leave with deep wishes I could visit more often or even stay indefinitely!

Boston this time held lots of wonderful meals at some of my favourite places - The Border Cafe & Wagamama's, both in Harvard Square. Four Burgers in Central Square, close to Pandemonium, and S&S & Punjabi Daba in Inman Square! If you're ever in Boston & wondering where to get a delicious, inexpensive meal, Punjabi Dhaba serves genuine, quick, road-side-cafe-style Indian food, in a casual setting! There was also a new culinary experience, the most tender Porter House Steak at the Texan Steak House in Shirley! (I also had my 'fix' of Cheese-it's & peanut butter M&Ms!!)

We walked the girls every day in the Middlesex Fells. Since my last visit Frank had discovered a whole new section of this beautiful, natural woodland in the heart of the Boston metropolitan area. We bought a map, and struck out on various pathways, hiking up sheer rock faces, through little gullies, & along ridges with beautiful views of everything from the suburbs below, to the skyline of Boston's central business district, and right across the still-frozen surface of Spot Pond (which is really a lake feeding the watersupply of Medford, Winchester & Stoneham). The only day we didn't venture into the Fells we headed to Mirror Lake, close to where Frank's friend Kevin lives in Shirley. Another beautiful walk with snow still on the ground & I got to use 'micro spikes' on my boots for the first time! Making it all so much more special was the gorgeous weather for the first 6 days of my stay! Beautiful, clear, blue skies & sunshine, deteriorating to a gale with torrential rain on the Saturday, but easing in time for my flight home on Sunday!

The friends I have made on past trips become more & more special with every trip! In addition to seeing folk in person I am getting to know many of them online, mostly via facebook, but also by email & even phone calls! This time I didn't get to catch up with many browncoat friends, as there were no shindigs planned, and we couldn't make it to 'Geek Night' at our friends Deb & Rob's in New Hampshire, nor could we get down to Rhode Island to see Frank's closest friend Mark & his lovely wife Bea, one of my favourite people! It didn't feel right not catching up with them on this trip!

I did manage to see a few of my favourite folk, however! Chris is a friend I first met on Fireflyfans.net & have got to know via facebook, the NEBC (New England Browncoats) mailing list, & meeting up on previous trips to the USA. He & his lovely lady, Tal, came to Boston with her 2-year-old daughter to spend the afternoon with us. Along with Frank's good mate, Scott, and his 5-year-old son, Aiden, we visited the Harvard Museum of Natural History, and had a fun (& rather delicious) meal at Flat Patties burger place in Harvard Square. On Tuesday evening we went to Punjabi Dhaba with Joe, who is Frank's colleague & friend from the Harcourt Bindery, Joe is such a fun, intelligent & talented guy! We had a ball! On other days we visited Pandemonium & The Hobby Bunker where we caught up with a few of Frank's gaming buddies, who seemed to be pleased to see me there... (I played two games with Frank, but I think he despairs of me learning & understanding the rules! I really am getting to enjoy Warhammer more each time, though, and was surprised at how much I remembered from my last visit!)

I had really wanted to catch up with another NEBC friend, Jill, who has had a bit of a rough time lately, and with whom I always get along really well! She lives not far from Frank so we made plans to get together on the last Friday of my visit. As we were planning our evening Frank suggested Scott might like to join us, so we got together & had a wonderful meal at The Border Cafe (another highly recommended venue which serves amazingly good Tex-Mex style food at a very reasonable price - but expect to wait for a table, especially on a Friday!) They hit it off so well we all went out for dinner the next night, too!! I was also fortunate to catch up with Cathy Reuben who is one of Frank's dearest friends, a gifted musician, and wonderful lady, as well as spend an evening rehearsing with the vocal section of Urban Myth, Jessica & Robert as well as Frank making me feel so welcome! I loved singing again after a break of two years, and singing with Frank was a real treat! I cannot express quite how wonderful his friends are at making me feel at home!

So, finally, very early on Sunday morning - even earlier than anticipated as it was the first morning of daylight savings & we'd lost an hour we hadn't anticipated losing - I finished packing my bags & headed to the airport. Maggie, Frank's gorgeously loyal & lovely border collie/labrador who has always kept a close eye on me & takes good care of me, looked like I was betraying her, as she always does! She knows, even before I pack, that I am preparing to leave. Lucy is always happy to see me, but less perturbed when I leave, as it just means she gets more of Frank's attention! I always have tears at the airport, and there are always the sweetest kisses imaginable just before I go through the security check point! I always get on that plane feeling like it's the last thing I want to do! I just want to know what it's like to arrive in Boston with no plans to leave, one day!

The strange thing that I often think of is that I never, ever wanted to live in America. Even as I fell for Frank I was hoping that if this relationship went anywhere he might want to move to Australia or England. I am a citizen of both countries by right of my birth, and that is a blessing I am very grateful for! As I got to know Frank & his beautiful girls, Maggie & Lucy, I realised that he was happiest in Boston, and that he could never leave his precious puppies for long. I can't imagine him putting them into quarantine in order to live in another country... nor could I imagine him living in Victoria, where the temperatures regularly reach the low 40s (centergrade) when he considers the low 30s to be "a scorcher" even with 95% humidity!! We learn not to breathe in too quickly as we hop into a parked car or even step outside in Melbourne - a scorcher is actually when you can feel the intense heat drying out your lungs as you inhale!

I have had such a beautiful, wonderful few days with Frank in my 'other home' & have loved every moment of it! I love life in London, but I am already looking forward to my next visit & to seeing more friends, experiencing more of Massachusetts life, and creating more memories of my relationship with Frank & his beautiful girls!

communication...

2010-03-01T23:33:00.003Z

I wrote a blog last night, when I was hurting & feeling very alone. I was upset that people rarely ever contact me, and I feel like nobody notices when I try to update themmm... ironically someone I had no idea ever, EVER read my blog read it & thought it was directed at them and was hurt & upset & angry...

I never, ever dreamt that this person would read it, and I never ever meant it to seem like I was attacking her...

But if you do read my blog, how about saying so once in a while? I put my heart & soul into some of the research I do on here, & I rarely bother writing any more coz I think nobody notices, except those people with very poor English who keep leaving comments on my blog telling me they have "exciting new opportunity to investment my money!"

And yes, if you think I am being thin-skinned, I CAN count on one hand the number of phone calls I have received from Australia since leaving almost 2 years ago... 1 voicemail message from my parents on my birthday in 2008, 1 from my best friend when a mutual friend passed away suddenly, 1 from my friend Fee on the spur of the moment (awesome, too!) 1 from my sister when my Uncle passed away which was shocking news to me (& I missed that call) & 1 from my friend Kim just to say hello & she was thinking of me! 5 phone calls in 2 years... I don't think anyone's noticed I've left! I'm not angry, I'm hurt... very sad, very lonely, and very hurt...

Not meaning to take a dig or a shot or whatever at anyone... just trying to make sense of my lonely existence... how could I love where I live, who I live with, what I am doing for a job & the people I now live amongst, but miss my home terribly! I have always known that the people back at home have the same friends on hand, the same routines, the same 'support network'... Their lives are going on like normal, and there is no reason they would miss me... but I miss them.

I'll probably delete this 'stream of conciousness' blog this time tomorrow, too... I suck!

Tragedy on my doorstep, part 2

2010-01-25T22:42:00.018Z

Not too far from where I live, just a few stops along the Northern Line, is a station called Oval. It is so named because it is quite close to Kennington Oval where cricket matches are held, presumably in the summer months... I recently took a train to this station for a very different reason. I was looking for evidence of an event that occured in 1940, but it was not until I was writing this & my previous blog that I realised the two events occured almost exactly 24 hours apart. The night after the people of Balham lost 67 of their own to a German bomb, the people of Kennington were similarly struck, but this time the cost was even higher.

Unlike Balham Station, the local authorities were loath to allow people to take shelter at the Oval Underground. The station had been completed, but never put into use, which wouldn't have precluded it from being used as a shelter. The barbed wire, which the authorities had placed around it, however, did prevent the local population from seeking refuge on the platforms as so many thousands of Londoners did that autumn.

The 'lucky' few who had a garden large enough to hold an Anderson Shelter, would stay in their own private place, about the size of a small bathroom, open to the elements, often flooding in heavy rain, and with just a few inches of soil over the top of a curved, corrugated roof to protect them. They did, none-the-less, provide some modicom of privacy.

For the rest of the population who wanted to feel that little bit secure during the nightly bombing raids of the Blitz, there were the public air-raid shelters. These shelters were in a 'trench formation', and were similar to those which were photographed on Clapham Common...

The trenches were covered in cement slabs, covered in a layer of sandbags & soil, and contained wooden benches. The amenities were menial, based on the assumption that a bombing raid would last 1-3 hours and people wouldn't need much in the shelters for such brief periods. In reality bombing raids often continued in waves all night, and when they were brief, the people were loath to relocate to their beds, only to be woken a short time later to return to the shelters... it was more likely that the average person would spend 12 hours at a time, sitting on wooden benches, in damp conditions (there are accounts of the mould & moss growing on the cement ceilings). They were prone to flooding, and with no lavatories on site, they smelled apalling most of the time! (An account of a similar trench shelter in nearby Wandsworth mentions a bucket in the corner behind a hessian 'curtain' for use as a toilet) People would smoke in the shelters as there was no sense of this being a dangerous activity at the time.

None-the-less, people felt safer when they were under the ground, even just a few feet, and so night after night they returned to the apparent safety of the public air-raid shelters which criss crossed the playing fields of Kennington Park.

On the night of 15th October the trenches were filled with women, children, men, the elderly & the infirm - families in general - & they had no hope when the bomb made a direct hit on the north east corner of the trenches. At the time the authorities were overwhelmed by the appalling scene which they came upon. Not only were there injured & dying people trying to escape the nightmare, there were body parts strewn for many feet in all directions... to make matters worse it had been wet recently & the soil in which the trenches were built was unstable, making it almost impossible to dig out survivors. After a night of rescue & recovery, it was agreed that there was nobody left alive in the collapsed trenches, and with recovery workers in danger of being suffocated by the unstable soil, it was agreed to call of the recovery excersize after a couple of days. The unrecovered bodies were covered in lime, and covered over, and it is estimated that there are the remains of approximately 50 people still under the ground.

I visited this site on a bitterly cold day, in january, to see the normal activities of people... folk walking dogs, children on scooters, parents with youngsters, a group of young people playing football... It is hard to imagine that these daily leisure activities go on over the last resting place of so many people, who, just 70 years ago were doing the same things!

There is now a memorial stone in the park, quite close to the site of the bomb landing. It bears a beautiful inscription, a qupte from the poet, historian & author, Maya Angelou: "History, despite it's wrenching pain, cannot be unlived but if faced with courage need not be lived again."

Let us hope that more people learn the history of this beautiful park, and remember... & do what they can to prevent it happening again.

This blog entry is dedicated to the estimated 104 people who lost their lives that night, & the countless people of Kennington who's lives were never the same again as a result.

Tragedy on my doorstep - pt 1

2010-01-25T14:14:00.012Z

While I have been looking into the history of Clapham during WWII, I have learned of two horrific incidents which occured during the Blitz, and both of which took the lives of many civilians doing their best to just get from one day to the next. One was in nearby Balham Tube Station, a reasonably short walk from where I live, and the other was at Kennington Park, just a few tube stops from Clapham.

The Balham disaster happened just before 8pm on the night of 14th October, 1940 & cost the lives of 67 people, although the modest plaque which currently commemorates this tragedy does not take into account 3 Undergroud workers who died amid the citizens seeking refuge that night. A series of specific circumstances caused the casualties, although none of them died from the initial bomb blast, nor shrapnel, nor even - as one might expect - as a result of fire. The victims were either crushed in the panic to leave the station, or drowned in a slurry of water, sewerage & mud. The word horrific is used a lot these days, but I think it applies to the way these 67 people died.

The initial bomb blast created a masive crater in Balham High Street, breaking through to the platform below, & rupturing water, sewerage & gas pipes. The surge of water caused the crater to enlarge, and washed thousands of litres of slurry (including raw sewerage) into the tunnel below. We know the crater grew quickly as a bus driver, who was in the vicinity of the blast, was concussed & slightly injured, so he parked his bus near the crater, and sought medical attention from a nearby first aid station. While he was being treated the crater grew enough to swallow his bus. Dramatic photographs of this were in most national newspapers the next day, although details of casualties were suppressed in order to both deny information to the enemy, and maintain morale in the general public.

There are estimated to have been up to 500 people sheltering in Balham Station that night, although more conservative estimates suggest it was closer to 200, the popularity of the Underground platforms as air-raid shelters, and extensive photographic evidence show Tube stations crammed with families, althogh at that hour commuters were not travelling through the station.

At the first sign of a bomb blast many people surged towards the the escalators & the exits above. The first casualties probably were due to suffocation & being crushed in the stampede... The majority of deaths, however, were due to drowning...

You might ask how it is possible to drown on an Underground platform? Anyone who has ever visited London has travelled on the tube, and anyone who's travelled on the tube knows those tunnels go on & on for ever! Surely the water & mud were simply siphoned off into those long, wide tunnels? Wrong.

The Northern line, which runs through Balham, also runs directly under the River Thames, close to the Embankment & Charring Cross Stations, and the government were fearful that a catastrophic flood could occur if the line were breached close to the river, especially at high tide. For this reason many of the stations in the Northern Line were fitted with water-tight doors, and as one of the lowest stations on the line, Balham was one of them. The very system that was supposed to prevent the people at Balham from drowning in the waters of the mighty River on which London is built, is the very reason the deluge was able to fill the area so quickly.

This year sees the 70th anniversary of this tragic event, but so few people who travel through the station will even be aware of the significance of the date. It is just one, of so many tragic & remarkable stories of London World War II. I, for one, will be very aware of the date, & intend to remember the 67 people who lost their lives to a Nazi bomb, and a sad twist of fate.

History on my doorstep...

2010-01-24T18:50:00.018Z

When I moved to Clapham, about 3 months ago, I was interested in the history from a Victorian perspective. Let's face it, the Victorian era is the most dominant one in this area, as Clapham & the surrounding suburbs of London were mostly built & formed during the reign of Queen Victoria. The rows & rows of terrace houses which fill the streets of this pretty place are all beautifully histocial Victorian dwellings, and the streets of shops & even nearby Clapham Junction Station are all from that era.

Clapham Common at the end of the street in which I live, was the first place that caught my attention, from the WWII perspective. About a 3 minute walk from my front door, there is a large, flat(ish) platform covered in ashphalt. I did some 'googling', and found a reference in that 'ever-reliable resource', Wikipedia! These are, supposedly,"... mounds on the... common that are covered in the earliest forms of tarmac. The mounds were formed with left-over scraps by the local Victorians and covered in tarmac to form roller skating rinks." Yeah... with two close to Battersea Rise, & 3 more between Winsham Grove & Manchuria Road, it seemed an ulikely explaination, and friends & neighbours told me they thought they were 'bunkers' from WWII. I did a bit more digging, but couldn't find anything about 'bunkers' existing on Clapham Common, although there were definitely 'trench-style air-raid shelters' & Anti Aircraft Guns (or 'ack ack's' - using the WWII Phonetic alphabet for 'AA' guns)

I looked further, and found some reference to one local's belif that they were bunkers in which Canadian troops had been housed during the war, but I found a more reliable source which tells that the Canadians were housed in the Deep Level Shelter close to South Clapham Station, and this was further confirmed by other references...

The trench style air-raid shelters definitely did not have entrances in a formation like these... being very simple, and rudimentary forms of shelter. Although photos exist of these on Clapham Common, there is no resemblance to the remaining 'platforms' along either the west side, or the Battersea Rise section in the north west corner of Battersea Common.

My research would suggest that these are almost certainly nothing to do with rollerskating! In fact the reference in Wikipedia is the only mention of such an activity on the common I can find online! The air-raid shelter theory is also more likely to be later generations confusing the deep level shelter with the remnants of some activity they can see close to that shelter today. To my mind the size & shape of the platforms suggests they are the remains of the ack ack positions. They certainly were close to the South Clapham Station, as I have found first hand accounts of young men & boys coming to the common, via that station, to watch the guns in action. I have included both my photos of the platforms & a couple of reference photos I found online - see what you think for yourself...

So to do more research... I hope to visit Battersea Library soon, and see if I can't get to the bottom of this mystery, using the local history resources they hold there. I have this terrible compulsion to stop any truly elderly person I see in the street & ask them if they know anything about them...

Stuff...

2010-01-19T23:10:00.005Z

I'm kind of feeling uninspired, but I want to blog more... I always have this inner monologue happening & it seems a shame to waste it! I thought I might follow my friend who's blog is called Wooly Logic, and post more photos with some explainations!
So this is what I did on Sunday - I went for a power walk on Clapham Common, but I didn't power walk for long! I got chatting with my wonderful cousin Mavis, on my new mobile, and so I slowed my pace... silly since I'd worn just jeans, a T-shirt & a hoodie, foregoing the obligatory gloves, coat, hat & scarfe as I thought I'd be warm from walking!! The cold got to me, even before I'd reached the north-east corner of the Common, where I stopped to take photos of Trinity Church. This is the church where the 'Clapham Cult' was formed & would meet to discuss social justice issues, and particularly to campaign against slavery. It was this group that William Wilberforce belonged to, and he was instrumental in getting the laws in Britain changed. His story is told in the film "Amazing Grace"
There was an eerie feeling as it was so cold that there were few people loitering, and nobody at the church at all. The lighting made it stand out among the leafless trees, & I was so cold by the time I turned for home, again!

I started at a good pace towards the western end of the Common, close by which I live! But I was barely half way when I started shivering & wondering what I'd been thinking when I'd left home with so little clothing (seasonally speaking!)? I suddenly remembered that there was a pub, nearby, which I had been meaning to check out! The Windmill, on the common, has had a lot of good write ups... I shivered & managed to make it to the warm haven of this watering hole! The cider, whilst delicious, was very expensive, but the loos were amusing, and the whole feeling was one of comfort, & most importantly - warmth! I sat for quite some time, reading the book reviews in the paper, and sipping my cider, taking the occassional photo & generally feeling the blood start to flow to my extremities!
Finally I walked home, via the historic, and pretty bandstand, then on to my home. It was good to get back to a bowl of soup & later to phone Frank! I always sleep better when I hear the sound of his voice!

Thoughts....

2010-01-18T00:48:00.004Z

I'm just pondering... I haven't written a blog for months, but sooooo much has happened in that time!

I am still in love, still with a wonderfully talented & sweet, if somewhat vulgar & politically incorrect, American! I haven't seen him for over 5 months at the moment, but I hope to see him in a few weeks... just got to work out the money situation!!

I am working for a truly wonderful family in Clapham, London, with a delightful little boy who's 3 years old & fills my days with challenges, fun, laughter, imagination, play, life & love, and I adore him! I live in the attic of a beautiful Victorian terrace house close to Clapham Common, and I am revelling in the history of London as well as the history of Clapham & it's surrounding suburbs... WWII is my latest obsession! There is so much evidence of it, especially the Blitz, all over this city, and much of it is practically on my doorstep.

I have had some really tough times in 2009, but out of the worst times came the knowlege that I had family & friends who went above & beyond the call of duty to be there for me! I know how loved & supported I am, and I am so very grateful! I am honestly very blessed!

I'm finding winter in England a challenge as I did last year, the SAD (Seasonal Adjustment Disorder) is a very real condition, and I need to find ways to get on top of it! Suggestions have been to put a daylight globe in my lamp (I am having trouble locating one), and having a 20 min session on a tanning bed... apparently there is a lot of medical evidence to show this helps! At any rate the days are getting longer again, if still bitterly cold, and I am enjoying living close to the common as well as the excellent shopping strip of Northcote Road!

I hope I pop in here more often. I intend to keep up to date with happenings & photos & thoughts & feelings, but I have made such resolutions in the past & failed... so I won't promise! Just know that at this stage I am alive & well, and looking forward to good things in the coming year!

evaluations & realisations...

2009-05-09T17:06:00.006+01:00

When I was nearing the end of my 12 month contract working as a nanny at Pear Tree Farm, it became apparent that it was going to be time to move on. For one thing, neither of the wonderful kids I looked after really needed a full time nanny, and for another thing I was starting to realise how much I missed working with pre-school age children.

Don't get me wrong! The kids I nannied there were terrific! I learned a lot from both of them, as well as from my own experiences along the way - and I know we will stay in touch and remain friends! There is something, however, to be said for the privilege of working with small people who are busy exploring the world on such a basic level, finding their own place in the family, the local community and eventually the world! They are seeing things as if for the first time on a daily basis, and learning from every experience with a mind that is hungry for more, more, more information and more ways to work out who they are in relationship to the things, people and events that shape their lives!

Just having a simple meal can be a huge experience for a child under 12 months! The smell, look, texture and taste are all carefully considered and evaluated by the growing infant, and their tastes can appear to be fickle as they decide one day they prefer the slippery texture and smooth taste of avocado to banana, and the next day they cannot get enough of the apple you offer them in preference for their previous choice. Their expression of hunger, tiredness, thirst or just their desire to be cuddled and reassured are surprisingly simple and to the outsider very similar, but to someone who is with a toddler or an infant on a regular basis these expressions are as complex and varied as those of any adult.

The ability to look at ones surroundings and daily tasks that must be completed, and find challenges and learning opportunities for the young child is something that comes with experience and a creative mind. I was raised by a mother who was trained in Early Childhood Development, and worked as a kindergarten/pre-school teacher for many years. I am also the eldest of 3 children - both my sisters have their own children and I am very blessed to have been a big part of their lives!

So, when the time came to move on and seek new opportunities I knew it was with these younger little people that I was called to work! Many children had been in my life in this year! The two adolescents I cared for had a baby half-brother born during this time and I was so privileged to visit him on the day he was born, and to babysit him from time to time. At 10 months old he is thriving and developing at an amazing rate! No matter how often you watch a baby grow you are never less surprised by the incredible rate of progress they display! I was also able to spend some time with cousins who live in Kent, and their 3 year old daughter and 9 month old son provided more joy for me and another opportunity to flex my 'preschool' muscle with animated story telling, feeding, singing and lots of imagination! The management of a 3 year old who is attempting to negotiate and shape her environment by one means or another is very different to a baby who is still learning to communicate his desires on a basic level.

Then there is precious Elly! My friends daughter who is now 7 1/2 months old, and who is delightful! I have loved every minute spent in her company, from the chuckles and toothless grins to the exploration of baby-led weaning, to the night time crying sessions (I swear they last all night, but somehow we get some sleep still!) to the snuggles & sleep times, she is a joy to watch as she grows and explores and observes her world!

I am so excited about what the future holds for me! I might have been a little unfortunate in not getting a job or two which looked promising, but I know that the right job is out there and possibly just around the corner! I have been interviewing and enjoying the process, and have more interviews to come! Whichever family I feel I am supposed to be with (who, of course, feel they want me to join them, too!) will have the same ups and downs as any family! Their children will need to feel safe, supported, nurtured and guided through their most formative years with love, patience, vision and creativity! Those are the skills I am really looking forward to tapping into again!

I will definitely look forward to sharing my experiences with friends and family and my insights with my online community of friends, but I also know I shall learn just as much about myself as I do about any infant or toddler, preschooler or young child in my care!

The best part about Dragon*Con...

2008-10-14T18:05:00.011+01:00

OK, so I have now been to two D*Cs in two years! This would have seemed an impossible dream to me a couple of years ago, but now I am living in the UK and it's a little bit closer and a lot less expensive to get there!
I also have a lot of wonderful friends whom I have met initially online, but have also spent precious time with at Dragon*Con. To me that is worth all the time on a plane, all the money on airfares and hotels and every moment that I lost out on sleep for the manic 4 1/2 days in Atlanta!

It's funny, because in the lead up to Dragon*Con all you seem to hear about is the guest list! First Jewel Stait, then Morena Baccarin then Nathan Fillion and Alan Tudyk... and is he or isn't he... Adam Baldwin...? (He didn't in case you're wondering...)

Then there's the added bonus of knowing other shows you enjoy and other actors you admire will be there! Meeting Edward James Olmos was a highlight for me, and one of which I have no tangible evidence. I saw him sitting in the 'Walk of Fame', but with autographs costing US$60 each I simply couldn't afford one! I decided to say hello all the same, and I went over and shook his hand, introduced myself and told him that I was a fan who had enjoyed many hours watching him in various roles, and that for me he made Battlestar Galactica the high standard program that it is! He was a lovely, charming and easy-to-converse with gentleman, and I shall treasure that memory for a very long time!

In addition, you actually meet folk for the first time. When wearing your Firefly themed costumes you get a lot of comments from other fans of the best show in the verse, you see the same people over and over at panels and parties and in queues... and then there are the people you know from online but never really 'got to know' until you met them in person... of course they can be the very best - but I might be biased there because last year I had barely exchanged one or two comments with 'Naughtyman' from fireflyfans.net, but when we met and talked and spent time in person it was a different matter... in case you're wondering he is my Frank, and we are planning to spend Christmas together this year!
I love the time spent absorbing people's accents and the way they animate when they are talking with you! I love to see them in person and bump into them when wandering around the convention! I love the fun and relaxed time, which is both surreal and more real than you could imagine! I love the fun, the random jokes, the imagination, the chemistry and the comraderie that comes from getting together with a few thousand folk, many of whom you know in one capacity or another, and just celebrating the things that brought you together as friends in the first place!

Most of all I love the memories, the photographs and the stories shared for days and weeks afterwards, and the build up and anticipation of next year's convention! I can tell you that at the time of writing this blog there are 323 days to go until I am meeting up with friends from near and far, embracing folk I know in person, from telephone conversations and from online forums, and laughing and anticipating time spent with my browncoat family!

If you ever want an experience like no other, come to Dragon*Con, Atlanta, Georgia for the long weekend which ends on the first Monday in September! If nothing else it will be something you will never forget!

So this blog is dedicated to Jimi-bear & to my Kaylee-clone, Cindy, to Tinker Jenn & to my life-friend Aleta, to my Mei Mei's Rose & Engie, to the two Scotts ( I mean from Scotland) both called Michael! To my li'l sister, Lila & her lovely man, Joe (who met through Firefly as well!), to Katy& her Chad, to Amanda, Bridget, (& the boys who sang to her too!) & Niki & Ken (who not only met at D*C last year but married there this year!) To Shelle Belle (Roxy) to Captain Chris (Steamer) to Rican & Jack & Share, & to Cedric & Hawke (the wonderful Bedlam Bards)... to Mike & his beautiful Erica, to Philippa, to Sara, to Birddog & Bill (Doctor Bill!), to the littlest 76th member, Stevie & her gorgeous Alison, to the delightful Lissa and to the warm and wonderful Melissa, to the dedicated and quietly supportive Mary (Kaele) & her sister, Daisy, & to Kelly... to all the friends who are more like family, those who are a part of the 76th battalion. This blog is dedicated to those I met last year, and those I hope to meet next year. It's for the naughty Renn who had me doing vodka shots before 11am, and to the wonderful (& beautiful) Beth with her tireless efforts for the Austin Browncoats fundraising! For Rican & Carl & Autumn & Audrey! It's for Angela & Erin, for Ilse & Nico, for Marina & Tom, for Lost & Artcat, for all the Captain Mal's, Jayne-hat-wearing browncoats, for the family who dressed as Big Damn Hero's right down to 7 month old Kaylee! For the all-singing, all-dancing and all wonderful fun folk who make D*C worth travelling half way around the world for!

And if you were there - it's for you too!

Being the guest of Lord Sackville, of Knole

2008-10-05T22:48:00.007+01:00

I am so privileged to have been the guest of Lord Sackville, of Knole, Sevenoaks, and allowed to wander in his garden for some time this Wednesday, last.

OK, that sounds good, but in fact I was not the only one, and all I had to do was produce my National Trust membership! (Thank you once again, Mum!) On each Wednesday of the ‘open house season’ Lord Sackville very kindly allows the National Trust to open up his private gardens, and I was thrilled to visit on a day that was not only sunny (in patches) but had brooding, black clouds hovering the whole time! This is the beautiful kind of weather, typical of spring and autumn, which I love to take photographs in, and so I did!
I had such a lovely time wandering through the garden via the many paths that criss-cross and wind their way from formal and open areas, to herbaceous borders to the wilderness section of the garden with its many different varieties of oaks… there was even a eucalypt! The wilderness section was possibly the first of it’s kind in England, and was started in Tudor times by a previous Lord Sackville, and is mentioned in the diaries of Lady Anne Clifford, who was one time Lady Sackville, and was also the heir to Skipton Castle in Yorkshire. I actually read her diaries many years ago, never dreaming that I would, one day, wander in her wilderness for myself! One of the things that makes this place so magical to me, is that whilst being a remarkable grand house, really on the scale of a palace, it is also a family home. There was evidence in the vast gardens with the tennis courts, swimming pool (covered for the cooler season, and probably for the safety of small children) and the small see-saw just outside one of the doors, near a vast area of lawn! It was almost exactly like one which the children I nannied for 7 years had in their play room, and I thought how similar children’s taste in play things is the world over!
I kept coming across the house from different angles, all of which were impossible to view from without the Medieval garden walls. The sun kept peeping through the dark, clouds and the sky was stunning! I was thinking “this is a jigsaw puzzle photograph!” Just inside the gate, where visitors enter and exit and private gardens, is the herb garden. I loved the way it was laid out, in a wheel-like formation, with a cherub statue in the centre, and different species of herbs of many varieties both within the the ‘wheel’ and around the edges of the garden, which is enclosed by a hedge. It was fragrant and pretty!
Knole seems to have some kind of magic to it… I am drawn to this place, again and again! When I first saw photographs of it I thought it looked grey and dull, and nothing near as exciting as nearby Ightam Mote, but each time I visit I am amazed to discover something new about the house, the park, the history and the magic of the place! The surrounding park, in case I failed to mention, is the oldest existing deer park in England! The deer are so beautiful too, and although still officially wild, some of them will let you get quite close.
I suspect I shall keep returning to this ancient seat of the Sackville family many more times whilst living in Kent. I also suspect this shalln't be the last blog I write on the subject! It’s a topic that is already very dear to my heart!

Differences...

2008-09-29T18:59:00.005+01:00

Because I think about the differences between living in England and living in Australia on an almost daily basis I thought I'd do a random blog about the things that cross my mind from time to time...

Light - The light in England is much... 'softer' than the light in Australia. Even on the days that were (apparently) the hottest of the summer, I didn't get a sense of it being as bright as it would be at home, even on some of the not-hottest days of summer... At this time of the year, when the sun is setting and it's dark by 7pm (& no, we haven't finished daylight savings yet!) the sun sits lower in the sky. I have a sense that it's permanently late afternoon!

Roads - I have yet to come across a 'grid' formation in any town or city, let alone a village. Whereas in Australia much of our boom happened in the last 150 years, meaning that more planning of expansion of road trasport occoured - even in the days when that still meant horse-drawn vehicles and cattle drays - in England many of the roadways were originally footpaths and legal 'rights of way' from one village to another, possibly following a, now redundant, stream, or going the most level way. There are few roads which give you more than a few hundred metres of visibility once you are off the main motorways... come to think of it the main motorways often only give you a few hundred metres of visibility! The narrow, twisting roads from village to village are tretcherous, and I actually prefer driving on them at night when headlights give you an early warning if there's a vehicle coming (at up to 60mph/100kph) around the next sharp bend! The age of things! - In Australia we get excited about something that is more than 100 years old! I mean - that's almost half the age of our 'modern history'! Anything that goes back to convict days, or to the gold rush of the 1850s is remarkable! Here, it's pretty ordinary to see houses which have dates on them from the 17th & 18th century which are still lived in. The fact that parts of the farm house I live in are 200 years old is barely worthy of comment... In addition to the amazing age of current dwellings, there are churches which have Norman towers (like the one in Hadlow) and castles dating from around 1070 in their origins (as in nearby Tonbridge) and Roman ruins dotted here and there, not to mention truly ancient monuments such as Stonehenge http://www.stonehenge.co.uk/ or the chalk giant on the hillside at Cerne Abbas http://www.mysteriousbritain.co.uk/majorsites/cerne_abbass.html There is, standing about a 5 mintue drive from where I live, a place called Soar Old Manor which was built in around 1270 and is in remarkable condition today! http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-oldsoarmanor and my own flickr set of photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/sets/72157607434478432/ Traffic lights - There are many, many more roundabouts in England - and you will rarely see traffic lights at the end of an off ramp from a motorway, as you do in Melbourne. Granted there are many more traffic lights in London than in the country, but even larger towns like Royal Tunbridge Wells has more roundabouts and pedestrians crossings than traffic light controlled intersections. Somehow it works better too, although I don't think it would in Melbourne. To be honest drivers here are more patient and polite and will give way to folk waiting to turn, or show basic courtesy when there is a traffic jam. The state of some of the roads would cause accidents and public outcry in Australia, but people here accept that it's part of life, give way to someone else, and wait their turn.

So, there's a few of my little musings... I am sure there will be more, but I wanted to put these down while I thought of them...

London Open House - part 3, The FCO

2008-09-29T13:39:00.010+01:00

Having had an amazing experience with the modern architecture of City Hall, I knew exactly where I wanted to go next, and I decided to walk half way then catch the tube the rest of the way! I was glad I did the walking part coz I had known there was a big cycling event on in London today, and had seen clusters of folk on bikes, many of them in sponsorship safety vests, but had not seen any of the closed roads I had heard about... On my way to the tube I crossed an overpass and saw hundreds of folk on bikes taking over the streets of London! It was wonderful to see!

The event is called The London Freewheel, and this year it was sponsored by Sky Sports Chanel! I took some photos... naturally! It gave me a good feeling to see London's streets given over to bikes instead of cars, taxi's, motorcycles and buses!

More information on the London Freewheel event here: http://www.london.gov.uk/freewheel/

Then on to the Foreign & Commonwealth Office! I had been told by several people that I would love it, and they were completely correct! When I got there I mentioned that so many folk had recommended I visit, and one of the security guards who works there told me he still gets goosebumps when he looks at it all! He, along with several others, also told me that it just keeps getting better and better as you go along!

Again - they were completely correct!

You enter the office through a covered drive in area, then into a huge court yard and to your left, where you enter the building up a marble staircase, with two huge carved firepaces on either side, and the statue of a Gurkha soldier in front of you.

Then through a humble looking doorway, on the other side of which is the Gurkha staircase, beautifully carved and the original site of the statue we already passed in the entrance hall. To one side of this lovely staircase was an alcove which contained three small recycling bins, I was tickled to think that this must be the most attractive recycling station in England!

We did not ascend the stairs, however, and continued along the same coridoor. All was very pretty and clearly the workmanship was top quality and had been carefully restored, but nothing truly remarkable, expecially to a girl from Marvelous Melbourne! For those of you who don't know it, Melbourne was, for a brief period in the 1860-70s, the wealthiest city in the world, on the floor of money coming in from the Victorian goldfields. The resulting wealth was displayed by banks who wanted to appear more grand and sturdy, or safe, to their prospective customers so some magnificent Neo-Gothic buildings were constructed. Many of them, along Collins Street and Spring Street still stand today, and Melbournians are proud of their rich, Victorian heritage. So, visiting a building of Neo-Gothic architecture, which was entered from the more humble areas, was wonderful and interesting, but not worthy of goosebumps... yet!

Along this corridoor we went towards the heart of the India Office, who's entrance we had just come through. Along the way the light changed from electric to natural, and there, on my right, was a magnificent courtyard! It was glassed over, making it an all weather space, and there were various displays in it, and despite the organised information it still felt extremely spacious.

The India office has some really lavish details to it, mostly because, at the time it was being built, India was bringing a huge amount of wealth into Britain and the architect of the interiors, Matthew Digby Wyatt, had pretty much a 'bottomless purse' to budget with. The next room I entered was The India Office Council Chamber, and I thought this was lush and beautiful. I was completely taken with the dark, mahogony surfaces, the rich, deep pinks of the curtains and carpets, and the huge marble mantel piece and carving above it. The whole room had been enjanced with much gilding of cornices, wall surfaces, cabinets and even minor details. It had a lot of natural light from the nearby Dunbar court yard, but was also lit by beautiful lamps hung from the ceiling.
As I dragged myself away from this lovely, warm and inviting, yet still business-like room, I mentioned to the guard that I knew what everyone was talking about when they recommended I visit today. He told me, "you ain't seen nothing yet!"

So, down some corridoors and through to another stairway, which we didn't ascend either, but which was accessible to a point so that the public could gaze upon the magnificent light well which was supported by several 'goddesses'. It was called The Muse Staircase, and the natural lighting pouring in was enhanced by the white figures apparently holding the glass in place.

Enthralled I carried on, and when I entered a corridoor which had vaulted ceilings and a deep, rick blue background to gold stars and supporting arches I stopped to take a photograph. The guard seemed amused, and I smiled at him, but a moment later I realised that in my enthusiasm for the narrow corridoor ceiling I had walked past double doors to yet another magnificent saloon. This was more breathtaking than any I had yet been in to! No wonder the guard smiled at my excitement for a mere vaulted ceiling!

The Conference Room of the Locarno Suite was where I had arrived, and I spent several minutes sitting and taking in the lavish interiors of this gorgdous space. The walls were hand painted and gilded with rich colours and patterns, the carpet and furnishings offset the rest of the room beautifully, and, again, there was lots of natural light to enhance the gorgeous, classicly shaped lamps which hung from the ceiling and were mounted on the walls. The most breathtaking aspect of this room for me was the ceiling, which was detailed with shape and gilding and paint and enhanced with lighting! I thought this must be the last room as it was so beautiful and I had been told that it kept getting better, but I was very wrong. The next room, which actually was rather small by comparisson and was a connecting room to two larger ones, was the official dining room of the Locarno Suite. This entire area, I later found out, had all been given false ceilings, the decoration covered up and partitioned off into tiny, artificially lit office spaces. It was now as opulent and rich as it had first been envisaged to be by the original architect, George Gilbert Scott. The colours were very different to the two adjoining rooms, and the room had a very different ambinace to the other two in the suite of three.

From here I entered a real masterpiece! The main, Reception Room of the suite had high, vaulted ceilings which were painted with various constellations and symbols of the zodiac. Their design had been lost long ago, and the renovators of the post-WWI 1920s had used pumice stone to remove most of the decoration in here. To the astonishment, and delight of the restoration team they had failed to complete the tast properly, and there was one section, which together with written descriptions meant they were able to restore this amazing room to it's original design as well. The light poured in through arched windows on both sides of the length of the room, and the effect was almost breathtaking.
This is the room where the the Locarno Treaties, designed to reduce strife and tension in Europe, were signed by all the involved parties, after being initialled at Locarno in Switzerland in October 1925. The only room considered large enough at the time it was rather shaby even then and lots of huge paintings and portraits were hung to cover the decaying decoration on the walls. Of course, this historical moment is where the suite of rooms gets it's current name. So I sighed a contented sigh and left what was surely the last of the magnificent rooms of the tour... but whilst correct in it being the last room, I was not prepared for the hallway and grand staircase beyond it! The magnificent Grand Staircase contains marble columns, a duplicated split staircase, rich, deep red carpets and magnificent murals all depicting different aspects of England as Brittania! The light in here is again a combination of natural and arificial. I really didn't want to leave after all of this, but I lingered around the sides of the upper level which the public had access to, stopping briefly to admire the informal sitting room of the Foreign Secretary, and then on down the staircase, feeling very underdressed in jeans and a t-shirt, and so out to the huge courtyard through which I had entered over an hour ago! This had been a visit well-worth making, and if any of you are ever in London and have the opportunity to see the FCO I highly recommend it!

There is more information about some of these rooms at the FCO website here: http://www.fco.gov.uk/en/about-the-fco/history-and-buildings/tour-our-buildings1/buildings-inside-uk/king-charles-street/

... and of course there is a set in my flickr account here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/sets/72157607491591664/

So on towards home, and most importantly after this weekend, on towards my bed!

London Open House – Part 2 City Hall

2008-09-28T20:50:00.009+01:00

The next day, Sunday, I went into the city again, and this time I got to play ‘tourist’, although beening a volunteer gave me priority access to any place I visited, that is, I got to jump the queue… I hadn’t intended to, but when I got to the City Hall there was a queue for security screening, and I really needed to use the bathroom… well it worked out in the end, coz I was a volunteer!

The City Hall did not disappoint! I went straight up to the 9th floor where I was able to walk around the balcony which has an almost 360 degree view of the River Thames, the Tower of London, the Tower Bridge and the city skyline, as well as the surrounding residential developments and landscape. I was also impressed with the solar panels which covered the roof of the landmark building.
Of course I went a bit snap happy, whilst up there, but I was really anticipating the amazing, spiral staircase which leads from the 9th floor down to the 2nd floor and directly into the Council Chamber itself!

Unfortunately they were filming a segment for a political TV show in there when I got to this point, but I was informed that they would be finished in a few minutes, so I went down to the lower ground floor and enjoyed the exhibition of Olympics inspired art, as well as getting to see the Olympic Flag, which London took possession of just a few weeks ago in Beijing! I took photos… of course… On my way down, and when I was in the exhibition, I met a wonderful lady. Actually I was looking at some artwork on the way down to the lower level, and paused to take some photographs. This lady was chatting with some other people and I thought she had a lovely vibe to her. A moment later she was chatting with me and I realised she was the artist whose work I was photographing, and she said she was happy for me to do so! I was taken with her sculpture of two synchronised divers and we chatted for a while, she was such a lovely person, very warm and her work had really caught my attention, with its Art Nuevo and Art Deco influences in the lines and shapes, and the colours she had selected where colour was used. Her name was Ginger Gilmour, and although a native of the USA, she now lives and works in the UK. We really clicked in a short time, and I came away with a lot of pictures of her lovely work, as well as a catalogue of her beautiful creations, which we both know I can’t afford, but she wanted me to have the pictures in it anyway. Her website is here: http://www.gingerart.net/

After admiring the work in the lower ground floor gallery, I went back up to the 9th floor for the sole purpose of walking down again! It was well worth the wait, and the trip into London on this particular weekend!

The whole building seems to reject any preconcieved notion of what a building should look like, and is non-symmetric, but flowing, and despite some really odd angles to it, it feels balanced and secure! The views from outside were wonderful – the view from inside was fantastical! From above it looked like a glass whirlpool, or water funnel! It seemed like I was walking down a staircase which was impossible! It didn’t flow in concentric circles, nor did it really go in circles at all, but rather in ovals and swirls… it reminded me of an apple peeling a little… I took so many photos, and I really love them! There is, of course, a sizeable set in my flickr account here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/sets/72157607491981236/ and some of my favourites are here besides! The fact that I have never really given modern architecture much consideration, but now feel I am rather passionate about this building, as well as London’s famous ‘gherkin’ (30 St Mary’s Axe) says a lot about the impact of this remarkable vision made a reality!

As you can see from these few photographs the curves and glass and light gave me so much inspiration to photograph people, and objects and space in very different ways... It was a photographers dream!

I know I mentioned the solar panelling on the roof, but the use of natural light also adds to the ecological aspect of the offices, and the wide, sloping ramps in the public areas make it extremely user friendly for those in wheelchairs, or with prams.

London Open House - Part 1 Admiralty House

2008-09-28T12:11:00.010+01:00

Last Saturday was the first of two days of the annual London Open House weekend. This is a non-profit organised event when people can visit buildings not normally open to them, with a view to learning about the architecture, and appreciating the history.

I first heard about the Open House weekend when I was exploring the city in July, and I wandered into the City Hall, on the south bank of the Thames, opposite the Tower of London. I remember being completely mesmerised with the modern architecture, which seemed to have completely shunned symmetry, straight lines and right angles. I spent over an hour in the limited public area, photographing it, taking in the exhibition on the lower ground floor, looking at the view from the public gallery on the 2nd floor and generally falling in love with London's modern architecture. At the time I was talking with a security guard about public access and he mentioned that if I came back on the weekend of 20th/21st September, the whole building, apart from offices, would be open to the public as part of 'Open House'. Intrigued I made a mental note to check this out on the net next time I was online.

Well, I went one further than that! When I checked out the website, they were looking for volunteers to act as guides and stewards at the many buildings which were open on that weekend, so I put my name down to do just that!

Saturday 20th was my stint as a steward at the former Admiralty Buildings and Admiralty House. This is a place steeped in tradition, and many significant moments in British history have occurred here. When I arrived I was given a quick tour by Charlotte Henshaw, the wonderful curator of the MOD (Ministry of Defence) who is based at 26 Whitehall (former Admiralty House) and had organised today's self-guided tours and the volunteers arrangements.

One of the highlights for me was being allowed into a couple of rooms that the public weren't allowed into! This included a small sitting room where we took our breaks and enjoyed coffee and biscuits, just as beautifully furnished as the rest of them!

I had a wonderful day, explaining about the history of the two buildings, which back onto Horse Guards Parade, and where the Admiralty has met for centuries. 26 Whitehall, which was built in 1725, contains the oldest boardroom, in continuous use, that is still used for the purpose for which it was built. It contains carvings which predate the building itself, and were rescued from the former Whitehall Palace following it's almost complete destruction by fire, and is still used today by the First Lord of the Fleet to plan marine operations. It has hosted British Government Cabinet meetings when 10 Downing Street has been renovated, and is still used by the Deputy Prime Minister for his cabinet meetings today. Incidentally, the building is no longer officially 'The Admiralty', but it does contain the offices of several Cabinet Ministers and their staff.
The dwelling and official rooms in a separate building which adjoin the older, official one, were really a treat! Built in 1785, the architect was Samuel Pepys Cockerell, and the design was inspired as it is really a very narrow building, but feels extremely spacious and light! It was squeezed into the space between the official Admiralty building and the Horse Guards, and in order to make the most of the limited space, it contains a marvellous staircase, which a split return and a lunette above to give a sense of space and light.

All throughout the buildings are works of art which are mostly of a nautical theme. Some render moments of historic sea battles, others are studies for famous works of art. There are many, many views of various famous seamen, and ships, in both sculpted form and in paint.

There is a table in the official dining room, which was roped off to the public (but which I was able to touch), which was noted by Winston Churchill to be his favourite writing surface. The Churchill's lived at Admiralty House from 1911-1913, and again from 1939-1940, both coinciding with the periods of his appointment as First Lord of the Admiralty. The Music Room which contained furninshing presented to Admiralty House by Lady Diana Cooper, was the scene of Harold McMillan's sumary sacking of 6 members of his cabinet, known now as 'The night of the long knives'.

At the end of the day I had enjoyed myself so much that I wanted to volunteer again next year! I was chatting with my fellow volunteer, Bridgette, as well as Charlotte, about my passion for history, and Bridgette suggested we wander down Whitehall to see if it was too late to visit another building she knew I would enjoy. The Banquetting Hall was only open on the Saturday of the Open House weekend, and we had missed the opportunity to see it, unfortunately.
On the upside, walking and chatting with Bridgette meant we discovered that we had some things in common, and without intending to, we ended up spending the next 3 hours together, wandering from Whitehall, via the Horse Guards and King Charles II street (near the Foreign & Commonwealth Office) to Westminster, across the bridge to the South Bank which we followed along to the Festival Hall and watched a free dance performance which Bridgette knew about. She showed me where to find out about any free or discounted activities in the Festival Hall, and shared some of her experiences as a singer, actor and photographer. Bridgette showed me where the Library of Poetry was, and I was able to aquire a free book from them! Then we headed over to the National Theatre, where she showed me more places to find out about free performances and opportunitites for special events, and through to the next building where we heard a friend of hers playing in a jazz trio, saw a terrific exhibition of theatrical photography, and a general art show, then back out to visit a food festival where I was happy to be able to shout her some food after all her time showing me the ins and outs of the theatre scene in London. One of the highlights, for me, was discovering the British Film Institue's Media Room where you can go in and book a screen for up to 2 hours and watch all manner of random things. The selection ranged from really old silent movies, to weirdly bohemian 1960 'art theatre' (the one with Germain Greer singing 'Do you Love Me?' will be burned into my memory forever!) to classic films such as 'A Room With a View' and others... commercials and shots from the cinema of the past, short documentaries and stand up comics are included in the collection, and it's all free!

After 3 hours wandering through the south bank of the Thames and reconnecting with my theatrical roots, I knew I had found a new friend! I had also found a wonderful source of food in Spice! A restaurant which had a booth in the food festival, and who's dishes were absolutely delicious! I can highly recommend them to anyone in London!

I headed home via the Merri-go-round near the London Eye, and across the Hungerford Bridge where I experimented with the settings on my Kodak camera and got some fairly decent night-photographs. I was really tired when I got home, but I had had a wonderful day! Unfortunately there was a strict no photography rule in the Buildings, which included the courtyard, but the previous week, and the next day, I took a couple of photographs of the building from the street. Such as they are, the set is here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/sets/72157607548760972/ and the rest of the day's photos are here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/sets/72157607554356071/

(Re)Connecting...

2008-09-27T19:44:00.006+01:00

Well, I just got home from spending a wonderful afternoon with cousins whom I haven't seen in at least 5 years...
Margaret is actually my Dad's first cousin, and she and her husband, Roy, visited Australia in 2003 so that was the last time I actually saw them, and apart from family correspondence, and a recent phone call, pretty much the last time we were in touch!

Their eldest son, Scott, was 17 last time I saw him, and was doing his A levels (VCE or HSC for the Aussie friends reading this!) and his sister Georgina was 15 and their 'little' brother Duncan was... err... younger still!

Today I met up with Margaret & Roy at the brand new home of Scott & his lovely wife, Philippa! They literally moved in this weekend! Roy was assisting Scott in wallpapering 2 1/2 year old Isabel's bedroom, while Margaret was looking after the children, Isobel and baby Daniel who is just 10 weeks old! I was in my element! I have missed babies and little children since coming to the UK! I absolutely adore the two children I nanny, who are 12 and 13 years old, but I miss the little people who are like sponges, soaking up each and every new experience and piece of information, and for whom every day is an adventure!
Isobel is bright and intelligent and has a gorgeous disposition! She really was enjoying having her Granny, as she calls Margaret, there as well as adoring her baby brother, and relishing her role as a big sister! Daniel is a settled and happy baby, and possibly having a growing spurt given the quantity of milk he consumed while I was there! We had a fun day of exploring the back garden, being shown around the house by Isobel, getting to know Philippa and catching up with Margaret and Roy.

On the sad side, Margaret's Mum, my Great-Auntie Dorothy, is very poorly and not expected to live much longer. They were cutting their visit short by a day in order to drive up to Stoke-on-Trent tomorrow and stay for the night then heading to Cheltenham where they live.

I have very fond memories of both my Auntie Dorothy and my Uncle Frank, who passed away a couple of years ago. I am sorry I haven't been to see my Aunt, but from what I hear she wouldn't have really understood who I was anyway...

All in all the day was lovely, though, and it was good to find that I connected with both Scott and Philippa well! They are such lovely people, and as you get older the age difference seems to matter less! I really hope they take me up on my offer to babysit sometimes, as I would love to help out and get to spend precious time with the next generation!

The weather has been gorgeous, by the way, and their garden has apple trees, and roses, rhubarb and beans and lots of other flowering plants as well! They are creating a wonderful environment to raise their family in!
Flickr set to check out: http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/sets/72157607542247107/

Why so slack at keeping in touch...?

2008-09-27T11:20:00.005+01:00

I feel like I keep excusing myself for not keeping in touch better... if you knew how often I thought of friends and family in any given day you wouldn't believe how little I manage to write to them... one person in my life here suggested I stop making friends as I am too busy to keep up with the friends I already have, but that is a completely rediculous suggestion and he knows it! (It was said with his tongue firmly in his cheek!)

So here's my new plan! (why wait for the new year for resolutions...?) I will write blogs as often as I can - hopefully at least 3-5 a week, detailing my life and including pertinent photos with links to sets in my flickr account. I will send out a general email each week to my friends and family near and far, and give them the run down as well as this address and the address of my flickr sets!

I will phone my loved ones more often, and not just Frank either! And I will do this during the day and not last thing at night... I tend to phone poor Frank when I am dropping off to sleep and he doesn't always get a good conversation out of me... mind you, as an American, he pays to receive my phone calls before 7pm, so there's something to be said for phoning him later, rather than earlier!

I really miss the sense of connection I have with so many folk, I guess I am so busy living my life that I am not managing to share it with others, and since I moved to the UK pretty much all of my friends and family are in another country, another county or another city!

So, to those who live nearby, I will make a greater effort to keep in touch by phone, and by visiting. To those who live in Australia and the USA, I will make a greater effort to keep you updated here and via email and photgraphy. And to my precious family - both of my blood and of my heart - I will let you know how much I love you much more often than I have to date!
I truly miss you all and wish you were here to share my adventure with me! I love who I am, and where I am, and what I am doing with my life! I just wish you were all a little bit closer and we could share it together!

Love and hugs to you all!

It's about time...

2008-09-23T14:33:00.007+01:00

It's definitely about time I wrote a new blog, especially since it's 6 months since I left Australia and over 5 months since I arrived to live and work in the UK!

My life has altered dramatically since I last wrote in here, and that wasn't even up to date! I was still trying to fill in the blanks about my trip to the USA last year, and now I have made 3 more trips to that country and am planning another one!
I have been living in Kent, England for the last 5 months, have enjoyed another summer, and am planning to visit Boston for Christmas with my wonderful man, and then head to Nevada for the marriage of two very dear friends of mine, and act as maid of honour for my precious friend, Lila.
I enjoy cooking! This is a surprise to me, as I have never had many peopel to cook for, and when I have had more folk around it's usually been in my mother's kitchen, so I never felt comfortable. Don't get me wrong, my Mother is an amazing cook, and her kitchen is well appointed, but I always felt like she was there, looking over my shoulder, or at the very least like I was in her way! I really like cooking risottos and pastas, but my Dad doesn't enjoy those things, so I rarely cooked when staying with my parents!

I used to cook for young children, but as I was always pushed for time, and never had the option of purchasing the ingredients for dinner, I was always managing with what I had, and what I had was usually limited. Alternatively I would have the choice of meal made for me, and worse still, if I varied it in any way I would be criticised for it! I have never felt truly able to select, plan, shop for and prepare a meal, except when I lived with Natalie... and let's face it, she and I both worked such long hours that cooking was a means to an end... eating!

I live in a beautiful part of England, about an hour from London, and in the countryside! We have lots of apple trees on the farm I live on, and I have just spent 3 hours picking blackberries this morning! Of course this leaves my hands cut and scratched, covered in nettle stings and even some insect bites, but I have 6 lbs of black berries altogether so I am happy and looking forward to making jam later in the week!

I miss my family, friends and especially 'my kids' a lot! The children in my life are very precious to me, and I have been involved with many of them since their infancy! I miss the little things we used to do, and I hope they know that I am thinking of them every day, even if I am not in touch as often as I'd like!
I miss my Frank in Boston! We met at Dragon*Con last year, and kept in touch by email, then by phone and finally, on my way to the UK, I visitied him in the USA. We spent 3 1/2 weeks together which was wonderful, and since then I have visited him for 10 days in late June. Unfortunately he was unable to join me at Dragon*Con this year, but I am looking forward to Christmas with him in just 3 months time! He is wonderful, talented, sweet, caring and generally awesome! His girls, Lucy & Maggie, two gorgeous dogs, have taken me to their hearts as well and I miss taking them for walks almost as much as I miss snuggling up with Frank in the evenings!
I love the pubs here in England, I love London with all it's rich and varied history as well as imaginative modern architecture. I love the green countryside and the wildlife. I love the people, who are generally very friendly, courteous, warm and polite! I love the supermarket I go to, Waitrose, where they have the friendliest, most helpful staff I have ever come across, and the food is fresh and in many cases, organic. The way it's laid out is spacious and light and yet it's much more environmentallly friendly than any supermarket I've visited in Australia! I love the little Fiat Punto I drive, and I love being so close to so many amazingly historical places including castles, houses, parks and manors! I love the tiny little villages so close to where I live, and I love the laneways I get to drive along every day!

I love the kids who are intelligent, imaginative, bright and talented. Both of them have skill at performance, especially acting, and I have a lot of interests in common with both of them! Their pets are cats, something I haven't lived with much in the past, but I am loving them as well as the half a dozen kittens which arrived a few weeks ago, thanks to Poppy!

I adore my employer, who is warm, caring, sensitive, generous, calm, organised, incredibly intelligent and a wonderful woman all round! She and the kids have made me feel right at home since the moment I stepped out of the cab from the airport!

I am going crazy about taking photographs of my daily adventures and uploading them to my flickr account. My flickr photostream is here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/
and there are always new photos popping up there with sets of pictures along the side. These sets usually have some explaination of when and where they were taken and why I have decided to put them in a set, so if you want to take a look it's a good idea to click on a set, read the blurb and then set it to slideshow!

Here's a set just about Pear Tree Farm: http://www.flickr.com/photos/magdalena67/sets/72157605172527636/

I will update my blog with information about my life and my photos more often as a way of keeping in touch with my friends around the world, and I welcome any new friends who read my blog to pop in and take a look too!

Hope you enjoy my renewed interest in blogging!

Asheville to DC...

2008-05-04T22:12:00.008+01:00

I have met a lot of folk here on the internet! I cannot tell you how richly blessed my life has been through some of these friends, but this time in Asheville was rather special to me. I mean in Georgia I got to spend some seriously quality time with Jimi, who had been there for me through some really tough times, and at Dragon*Con I got to spend lots of time with many, many friends whom I thought I might never get to meet! But here in Asheville I spent quality time with someone who had touched me deeply, whom I had admired a great deal from the moment I came across her in my online forays... actually someone who inspired me to start blogging! My friend Erin!

Erin has a lovely little flat on the ground floor of a building in Asheville and it had the prettiest garden! There are lots of really impressive houses around the area, as it's one of the wealthier suburbs in the area, and there were squirrels running across the road and up and down trees and playing people's gardens. The whole area was so pretty and spending time just talking with Erin and sharing her corner of the world for a few days was such a treat!

I will admit that it was really hard to say goodbye to Jimi! He has been such a wonderful rock of a friend to me for months, and I had counted down the days until we met, then had such a special time with him and his family that saying goodbye was emotional for me... there were tears! I can never thank him enough for all he did for me! I hope he knows what he means to me and how much I treasure the memories of all the things we got to do while I was staying with him!

Back to Erin, and her lovely town of Asheville! Two things impressed me about this time with my precious friend! The diversity and wealth of creativity in Asheville (which lead me to believe I could actually live here quite easily!) and the down time which I needed so badly after the heat and busy-ness of Dragon*Con and life with two young kids in Georgia! One of the things I learned to love due to Erin's passion for it, was Battle Star Galactica! Erin got me watching the mini-series one night and I loved it! Then she carefully spent the next few days showing me another episode at a time until I had seen most of the first season... I was more and more intrigued with each episode, and I loved these well fleshed-out characters, the 'nods' to Firefly and the quality of the performances! I am now a fracking BSG fan!!

Erin, like me, tends to get up late and stay up late, so the evenings to late night were the perfect time to watch TV together... all the rest of the world was asleep, except for us! I slept really well in her quiet little flat too!

While I was here I had a crisis with my medication. To make a long story short, I ran out of my antidepressants, which I had thought I had a plentiful supply of! I had to go through a long and expensive process just to get a new prescription and then pay through the nose for the medication itself! I couldn't have got through those few days of 'cold turkey' withdrawral without Erin's help and support! She was wonderful and got me in to see someone who could write me a prescription, helped me print out the letter from my Melbourne doctor, drove me to the clinic and went in with me to explain the situation and get me the best rate of consultation possible, then phoned around all the chemists... sorry 'drug stores', in Asheville to find the best price for them - and believe me the prices quoted varied considerably! In the end I spent almost US$80 for 60 tablets that would normally have cost me AU$30! I will always be more careful with my medication from here on in!!!

One day we drove through a large parkland on the outskirts of Asheville, and there were these huge things hanging in the trees... I couldn't work out what they were as they looked like huge egg sacks like spiders lay - only 100s of times larger! Erin explained to me that they were the communal coocoon sacks of these caterpillars which are found in this area at this time of the year and late they hatch... I was glad not to meet the critters that entered or left these 'sacks'... but they were really fascinating none-the-less!

Erin also took me to a couple of wonderful restaurants while we were here, and she took me to a pretty part of Asheville, where I bought a skirt which I'd fallen in love with at first sight! I decided that nothing should stand in the way of my true love for that skirt... I adore it! I also took a fun photo while I was here! I noticed that different states paint their firehydrants different colours - whereas in Australia they are all silver and red! I had noticed the fire hydrants in Alabama were orange and yellow and thought they were crying out to have a 'Jayne hat' put on them... well they were also that colour scheme in North Carolina! So the inevitable happened... The only thing wrong with this time was that it was way too short! I could have stayed for a fortnight, eating, sleeping, watching BSG and going for drives and walks and wanders around the pretty town of Asheville, Nth Carolina! It was over way too soon!! If it weren't for the fact that I was heading to Washington DC and another friend, Maura,whom I was looking forward to meeting, it would have been almost impossible to drag me away!

Late on the last day Erin drove me the 3 hours East to Gastonia, where we found the railway station... well, more of a platform really. The train was supposed to arrive a little after midnight, but when we got there we discovered it was almost 2 hours late. Erin stayed a little while but with a long drive ahead of her to get home I didn't want her getting too tired, so she left after a while and I had a fun night of laughter and silliness with a lovely lady I met and the character of a Station Master! By the time we got on the train and bought our tickets we had a reputation and the rail guards were joking and flirting with us all the way to DC... it was a long and sleepless night, but I will never forget it!

The week after D*C... Georgia and beyond.

2007-12-15T02:16:00.005Z

It was so difficult to wake up in the morning, but we got up and got Lila to her flight (well, almost - she had to queue and missed it but made a later one...) then we headed back to Alabama without my precious Mei Mei and the two Micks from Scottland! I had wished them a fond farewell in the hotel room - though I didn't wake the boys, to be honest! I did hug and kiss and shed a tear over my Mei Mei though! (she didn't remember it later - I suspect she was 'sleep farewelling')

We drove back to Tom's where the shindiggery was well and truly winding down and coffee was flowing free! It was delcious stuff and really hit the spot! I chatted with folk for a bit, then gave out a few little Aussie nick nacks and hid a couple of things in the house for him... we were good friends for a long time, and I hoped that would happen again. I had made Laura earrings, and brought shot glasses and keyrings and bookmarks for others, and managed another tube of Vegemite (the camping package - no glass...) for Tom as he'd said he really enjoyed it. It's a comfort food for me so I was pleased he did. Eventually we hit the road - taking with us Frank and Ken and since Frank didn't have to be at the airport for a few hours we headed to an Italian restaurant for lunch, and I appologised for my behaviour the previous night... it seems he didn't mind one bit... hmmmmm...

We dropped Frank at the airport and took Ken back to his place then headed back to Jimi's parents place! Their home is beautiful and I love the garden and was thrilled to see humming birds!! I am still being in awe of everything here... there are so many little differences that you simply don't think of when you imagine life in the USA, the driving on the other side of the road thing still freaks me out and I wonder if it will ever seem OK to me to do so, but there's a million different foods they take for granted that I have never heard of, and drink flavours and phrases... then again I say things that are everyday to me but my American friends look at me and sometimes ask me what I just said or what it means... it's funny to think we're so alike in so many ways, and yet so different in so many others!

Jimi was exhausted from all his driving folks around, and he fell asleep on the couch for about an hour, before Jane and I woke him, and he had something to eat and then we hit the road again with Aiden and Zachary in the back... I expected the boys to fall asleep in the back but they didn't! It was a bit hairy driving back as Jimi was still extremely tired and was afraid he'd fall asleep at the wheel, but we pulled over for a 20 minute power nap and he continued... I honestly don't think I could have driven without having a complete stress out about it all or I would have been happy to do so...
The week that followed was quiet... I slept a lot, relaxed a lot, helped Ami with the kids, learned to love corn dogs for lunch! Enjoyed mozarella sticks with salsa! Went for a walk most days, usually to the large chemist (or Drug Store) as they called them in the US... played with Aiden and Zachary and read them books etc... Before I knew it, it was Friday and the next morning Jimi and I set out for Asheville, North Carolina so that I could spend a few days with my precious friend Erin (Whimsy) and Jimi could visit Asheville for himself! It was a long drive, made longer by the car radio and CD player not working, but Jimi and I passed the time singing lots of songs off the top of our heads, including several from 'Into the Woods' which it turns out Jimi is a fan of too! We met Erin in the car park of a restaurant called 'Fudruckers'... I got the giggles every time we drove past it after that!

Dragon*Con - the final chapter!

2007-10-29T10:24:00.000Z

The day I hadn't wanted to come was here, and to make it more distressing, I had effectively stood up 'Naughtyman' (Frank) at the Atlanta Bakery across the road... I slept much later than I'd expected, despite sharing my bed with several others! Frank phoned me to say he had arrived late too and would I still meet him? I caught up briefly with him, collecting some weapons for Jimi and Tom, but I also convinced him that Jimi would be happy to drive him to Alabama for the shindig at Tom's that night...

The final day of Dragon Con was here, and so was the final day to do any of the many things I had expected to achieve during the 4 days of the convention. For one thing I was determined to visit the dealers rooms and find some shiny swag, I had saved some money for just this purpose. Rose and I went over to the Hilton Hotel and we had a ball wandering around feeling totally overwhelmed by the range and quantity of goods on offer, there were comics and T-shirts, books, games, costumes, novelty items, jewellery and DVDs... there were cloth patches and magnets, CDs and badges, flags and posters, swords, knives and guns (replica I assume - though there may have been some real ones, it was a whole new world to me).

There were genres from anime to Armageddon, from Firefly to Star Wars and Star Trek and Battlstar Galactica. There were goth faeries, modern faeries, whimsical faeries and impish faeries. There were Heavy Metal, Gothic and Alternative/Underground bands represented in the CDs and T-shirts as well as the DVDs and posters, and there were copies of episodes of just about any show you could name available for a reasonable price - I managed to purchase a copy of the pilot of the yet-to-be -aired "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" starring our own Summer Glau. (It's supposed to be coming to TV in the USA in January!)

I managed to find the Browncoat booth (and caught up with Alicia/Boomergoodheart & her husband Ben) and convinced myself to buy a T-shirt (which says 'BROWNCOAT - might not have been with winning side, still not convinced it was the wrong one') a couple of lanyards for gifts, pins, stickers and a deckle for my car! Then at another booth I found a Kaylee ID tag (which I added to the costume I was wearing) and some cloth patches including a few Harry Potter's and a Blue Sun one for my back pack!

I was really inspired by the jewellery - much of it was of a renaisance/Gothic/medieval style and since I have learned that the whole Renaisance Fair scene is huge in the USA I would imagine some of the vendors go from Fair to Fair and Convention to Convention. I took a lot of photos of the stuff that most inspired me, and generally Rose and I had a lot of fun! We were really tired, though, and there was some misunderstanding about the arrangements for that night, which I contributed to, and which ended up with us deciding to travel to the shindig planned for that evening at Tom's house in Alabama (about an hour and a half's drive) and then return to Atlanta to sleep in our hotel room and get Lila to the airport early the next morning, with Jimi, it meant another night with little sleep - but for my Rose it was worth it.

So we finished packing, I discovered that every auto-teller in a three block radius was out of money, and then we headed to Alabama, and the 76th shindig, but not after saying some sad farewells to folk who were unable to attend the additional festivities.

I have a feeling I slept a little on the way - but we were there before I knew it and we were in the thick of the fun as soon as we stepped off the minivan which Jimi brought 9 of us in! There, in the driveway was my precious friend, Amy! She and I had 'met' through Tom in happier times and we'd kept a close bond ever since. She is one of the most amazing and strong, yet sweet and true-to-herself young women I have ever known! My regret in the next hour is that I hadn't realised Amy's time was limited and I spent more time running around and playing with the airsoft guns and catching up with random folk than I would have if I had realised she would need to leave so soon after we'd arrived. She had to work very early the next morning. I do have one gorgeous photo of the two of us together though, and yet another memory of a friend I have now hugged!

The food was wonderful! I got to meet Tom's parents too, and his mother had made the most amazing 'jumbalayah' (sic?) and I enjoyed the fresh bao so very much as well! The best fun was getting to play with the airsoft rifles and hand guns - shooting just about anyone and everyone who was armed! Shot of the night was taken through the gap between the door frame and the door and I got Tom good and proper! I was as amazed as he was! I think my photographic skills have a lot to do with my steady hand with the weapons! I learned to hold a camera very still and gently pull on the trigger... as it were... I also enjoyed playing with his sharp kantana, there was a set of 3 hanging in the Maidenhead Bar downstairs! Rose took this picture - she is very into sharp, pointy things! I think the look on my face says it all! The Bedlam Bards were wonderful! Having them there was just pure joy! They sang and played and chatted and Michael (Navy) surprised us all by playing the guitar and being simply amazing at it! He has such a gift and was completely transformed when he picked up the instrument... I so enjoyed the time we were there, and it seemed too soon that we were heading back to Atlanta - though I have no idea what time it was really... Rose, Lila, Jimi, the Michaels, Zeph and I headed back to the Hyatt Hotel, though I might have suddenly kissed 'someone' as I was out the front of the house... I was really wanting to do that all night but when 'someone' was surprised (and honestly, who can blame him, I did pretty much 'ambush' him so I guess that was to be expected) I thought I'd made a mistake and kind of... fled... sorry... So I was fairly quiet on the way home and I was fairly quiet for the rest of the night, but I slept well...

Dragon*Con, part 5, Sunday

2007-10-06T06:34:00.001+01:00

Sunday morning came all too soon... or should I say Sunday afternoon, coz we all fell asleep so late and then suddenly someone was knocking on the door of our room and Rose panicked coz she'd planned to meet the Michael's at around 11.30 somewhere, and in the end they came looking for her... no big though, it was after 1pm, but they'd just woken up and raced over to find us!! I have a feeling that this was the day I went over to the Atlanta Bakery and discovered that everything in America comes with a side dish! There was a pickle and a packet of chips/crisps with my enormous sandwitch, and just for good measure I ordered cheese grits since they had them... of course once I'd eaten the grits I could barely fit the roast beef sandwitch in so I shared that with Navy... or was it Michael?

What did I wear? Oh yes!! Kaylee again! This time I wore a little top that I hadn't really intended to wear with it, but it worked really well! I remember catching up with Lila, Rose and the Michaels who'd all been shopping, and heading somewhere to meet CallMeSerenity, and since we were early and the 'Q & A with Ron Glass' hadn't finished we popped in for the last few minutes, which was hilarious since Lila was wearing a jingling scarf/belly dancing waist ornament. I remember that Canter asked a terrific question of Ron Glass, who remembered her and told the people there the story of her having ordered copies of Firefly from the UK in order to introduce her friends to it in South Africa. I remember that Dark Jester was there, filming, as always, the Firefly/Serenity related events at D*C, and I started a trend when I asked him if I may take a photo of his camera with it's minature Jayne hat on top! I also bought my, now treasured, CallMeSerenity-knitted Jayne hat! (try saying that three times quickly!!) and I loved wearing it! It was amazing how many calls and shouts of recognition I received for the rest of the day/night as I wandered around the con...

Rose and I had decided to invite folk to our room to hold a 'room party' that evening, so we headed back there in time to tidy up a little )which pretty much involved us sticking all our stuff under tables and into corners and wishing we had more chairs. We'd met up with Jimi and his 'adopted sister' Laurel and her husband (Brian?) (who were truly wonderful and lovely folk) in the food court, and by phoning, texting and telling everyone we bumped into that we were heading to our room for a get together we pretty much spread the word... We had a few there to start with, though the moment he got in poor Jimi was ordered to lie down by MsG, and nobody dares to disobey MsG, so he did, and he slept soundly for the rest of the night! Folks came and went, we watched the 'Costume Competition' on the closed circuit, dedicated TV channel that showed Dragon Con things - I loved the 'bumpers' that had questions and answers, and amusing little film clips! The contest was hosted by two of the gang from 'Mythbusters' and some of it was wonderful and some was cringeworthy and there was a terrific little homage to Firefly in the middle!
At some stage the rum disappeared... I was really cross as it was in my and Jimi's care, and was apparently taken to another room party without even the courtesy of mentioning it to either of us... more annoying was the none of us knew where this other room party was - initially we were told it was in the Boothes room, but this was not the case, so it remains a mystery. (The rum did turn up at Tom's house the following night, but we never received an explaination or an appology...)

Rose and I and some of the others were planning to go to a midnight screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show but with a few guests still in our room and feeling pretty exhausted from the last few days I decided to give it a miss, but she, Clara and Engie (who were wonderful sports about us having a room party without really having asked them) went as planned and from all accounts had a wonderful time! Canter and I decided to go looking for the rum at some point, and while Michael (AB Michael, not Navy) and Laurel went party hopping with Tommy, Canter and I headed over to the Marriott to interrogate Spartans to see if any of them had our rum hidden on their person! Along the way we met up with Boothe and his adorable wife who was now decked out as a grey angel! I found Jesus at D*C, and we noticed any number of weird and wonderful figures! We searched several Spartans - but hadn't questioned anywhere near all 300 when we came across Naughtyman, Big Rosie and Doc Jubal, who was an amazing Hellboy!! Ah well, we'll have to find an excuse to continue interrogating the Spartan's next year! Some time later... much, much later, we headed back to our rooms, and I assume Canter went to her own bed, but I discovered folk still chatting, watching D*C TV and generally on the go in ours! The Rock Horror gang returned at some point and had had a ball!! In the end we had 7 sleeping the night away in our room... Jimi, Lila and I in one bed with NavySeils, Rose, Michael and Clara in the other! Somehow - sleep was had! Oh - at one stage Rose half sat up and was talking in her sleep (she'd done it before, so I knew the look!), she was lying across the bed with a Glaswegian Michael on either side of her and said "I have everything I need!" and lay down and continued breathing deeply! It was rather funny (even if I was half asleep)!

Dragon*Con, part 4, Saturday continued.

2007-10-06T04:07:00.000+01:00

So after the parade... after the parade... ummmmm...

I know I must have gone and changed! I think I had jeans and a black top with my gorgeous, Tristan built, Kaylee jacket! I put my rather flat hair up in little knots, but they looked more like "Pucca ears" (as Lauren calls them) than Kaylee hair! I spent some time with Engie and Clara becuase we wanted to attend the 'Spike and Drusila' Panel which also had Elizabeth Rhom (from Angel) and was really fun and insightful! James Masters is a wonderful person who really keeps the audience entertained and there were some lovely moments with him and Juliet Landau! I think one of the lovliest things that was revealed was when one of the audience members there aske them "What was your favourite scene as your respective characters?" To my delight Juliet Landau referred to the very moment that I had been discussing outside with Lissa, ManwithPez and others from the FFF.net boards while waiting in the queue... the moment where they touch foreheads and then turn towards the 'chosen one' in the earliest episode they appeared in. Juliet told the story of how they were playing with their lines at the audition and that moment just occoured and how Joss loved it so much he kept it in the episode - the quintessential Drew and Spike moment! The other response from James was just as delightful! He said that any scene with Juliet was the real Spike for him - all the rest of the time he was just "trying to be Spike, because without Drusila, Spike was not himself!"

It was also the day of the BBQ which Jimi had organised with Zeph's help, so we duly arrived at the appointed place and time to find some rediculous drama had gone on! It seems that some Nazi security personell, perhaps feeling out of sorts due to the overwhelming numbers of people in the hotel, or perhaps just pissed off that everyone was having fun and not them, decided to lay a huge penalty on 3 of the lovliest and most unthreatening people in our group for ... get this... dropping 4 half sized business cards from the 10th floor balcony! Given that we'd seen a lot more things thrown from the balcony, and given that there were actual 'parachute races' involving plastic bags at a later stage from the 40th floor of the same hotel (which not only did not have any repercussions, but I have heard on the boards that there are plans for a bigger and better unofficial parachute race next year!) this was rediculous to say the least! Enter Lila and Canter!! Lila (my precious li'l sis, also known to FFF.net and the 76th as MsG) and canter took it in turns to tag team the security manager and call in the event organiser and got them to let it all go instead of cancelling their membership and banning then from staying next year! (as if they'd want to) So it all blew over, but it was a blot on an otherwise wonderful day! Stupid Nazi-esque security folk!

The food was amazing and there was so much of it left over!!! We met more friends and shared more stories! I can't keep up with all the people I am meeting!! The afternoon was spent in good company with wonderful friends! There was a raffle which was to raise some additional money to offset some of the command costs for the parade and the shindig to follow Dragon*Con! I am just so happy to be meeting up with these wonderful people who have been a huge part of my life for so long, albeit online! Following the BBQ Rosie, Lila, Cindy and I headed over to the Haytt to get changed for the official SEBC (South Eastern Brown Coats) Shindig which was taking place that night! Rosie had brought along several wonderful silk sari's and I decided that it was a good opportunity to wear my hairpiece, so I went and put that one, wore a black singlet top over a black bra and simple black pants and we added the stunning hot pink sari, bindi and make up in Laz, Erica, Rosie and Canter's room! Rosie even loaned me a silk fan which I delighted in using as a prop! I decided to go barefoot, and we headed to the ballroom in the basement of the Hyatt where the shindig was being held! There was a huge queue and there was some concern that we wouldn't get to go in, but when it came to the crunch we were among the last let through the doors... The music was wonderful - although it was really too loud! I am not a fuddy duddy... seriously!! But I was starting to get a headache purely from the sound levels and I had to leave before Ron Khulman was finished!! I discovered several days after D*C that he had invited me to a BBQ at his place on the night before it all started!! What a lovely guy he is to do that!! I hadn't checked my MySpace for several days (staying with other people means limiting yourself online) so I wasn't aware until post-D*C! Never mind - there's always next year!!

One of the things I most enjoyed about the Shindig was that here were people I had never even heard of who loved the same fandom that I love. The very same passion for a show (that should never have been cancelled) which had brought me to the USA in the first place had brought these people together too! There were Kaylee's in pink layer hoop dresses, Kaylee's in overalls, Mal's in coats and Mal's in shirts and braces, Jaynes in hats and Zoe's in vests, Wash's, Simon's, River's, I am certain that I even saw a Sheppard Book! I loved the couple who were dressed as Mal and Safron, complete with floral wreaths in their hair, who tok the centre of the dance floor for Saffron's wedding dance when the Bedlam Bards were on! I also loved that when Rosie, Canter and I started dancing together in a small circle that people kept joining us, it grew and grew until there were over 30 of us and I had this amazing tingling feeling that this was exactly like the whole fandom - a few come together and more and more people are drawn to the warmth and connection that exists. Before long it's impossible not to notice a group so large that it dominates the dance floor, or perhaps the whole internet fandom or perhaps Dragon*Con or perhaps the whole film industry!!! Who knows where this wonderful warm fandom can go - I just know it's a great feeling being a part of it all!

Given the noise factor and the fact that others were unable to gain entry and were congregating back at the Marriott, Cindy, Canter, Rosie and I headed over there to join them! Rose and the Michaels were there already as was Jimi! So we enjoyed another wonderful night of sitting, talking, drinking (rum this time - really nice, spiced rum) and meeting more new friends!! I think it was around 3am that Canter and I started to work our way 'home' and we were met by some rather drunk folk who really wanted to get into our pants but who walked with us from the guys dressed up as Devo whom they were hanging out with, via the Drum Circle...( interesting place and I am glad I popped in for 5 minutes just to say I'd been!), and we eventually 'lost them' at the lifts for our rooms! It was at least 4am when I went to bed - I have no idea how much or how little sleep I got during the whole of D*C, but I suspect the whole convention I went on as much sleep as I would normally love to get in one night!

Dragon*Con, part 3. The parade!

2007-10-05T10:44:00.000+01:00

Saturday the 1st September, 2007 - a day that will be remembered by a lot of people for a lot of good reasons.

The day of the inaugural marching of the 76th Battalion, a tribute group intended to both show our loyalty to and appreciation of Joss Whedon's criminally short lived series, 'Firefly', and the film it inspired, 'Serenity'.

Just 9 months and 2 weeks ago a conversation led to a post on the fan site, fireflyfans.net, and from there the idea took on a life of it's own. It was like the 9 months had been some kind of gestation period, and today was the official birth of the 76th Battalion.

I got up, showered and put on all the components of my uniform for the first time... well, almost all of them. Col Tristan still had my coat and when I turned up it seemed he'd left it in his room... never mind, someone duly retrieved it!! As I looked down on the foyer of the Hyatt I had a shiver down my spine... there were already gathered there several of us in full uniform! By the time I got a lift down to the meeting place there were more, and soon there were other browncoats, including many I knew by their screen names, but hadn't met before! The atmosphere was amazing - we were just about bursting with excitement and pride, but we were also very professional. Our weapons were as uniform as our... well our uniforms! We took such pride in assembling and walking to the starting point of the parade route. As we turned to our left, to assemble just off Peachtree Avenue, there was a large sign stating that Star Wars and the 501st Battalion were on the left, all other genres were on the right. I had a moment of delicious contemplation that some day it would read 'Firefly and the 76th Battalion' to the left and all others would be to the right! I honestly think there is no limit with the passion and loyalty this wonderful show has engendered, and we will make our mark to the point that we cannot be ignored and will get out sequel(s).

While we were waiting there were some photos taken of us all - 35 people from all over the USA, plus Canada, South Africa and Australia! We also chatted with other browncoats, including a wonderful family who were dressed in such detail - the parents were a gorgeous (and very pregnant) Inara/Companion, and the father was an immaculate Mal, the kids - there were 3 boys - were Simon, Jayne and a perfect minature of the father's costume of Mal... and when I spoke with the mother, later, she indicated that the baby on the way would appear as their little Kaylee next year! How amazing is this fandom!!

The parade started and our excitement had to be tempered with our knowlege that we were supposed to be marching to war. It was difficult to march and think about the kind of characters we'd created when there were people calling out and cheering us all the way along the parade route! I alternated between trying to look serious about going into battle against the 'gorramn purple bellies' and grinning like a moonbrain that we were there and receiving such a wonderful response from the thousands of people lining the parade route!! It was hot, the humidity was high, the uniforms were heavy, we had bags, weapons, headcoverings and helmets, we had boots and vests and shirts underneath, but all I remember now is the looks on Tristan and Lazarus's faces as they turned and looked down the lines at the 32 people following behind. I remember the shouts and cheers as we came across thicker and thicker crowds lining the parade route! I remember the feeling of awe as we reached the final turn and saw thousands of people waving and cheering, some in Jayne hats, some just shouting "Go Firefly!" "Yay for the Independants" "Go Browncoats!" and then it was over! We were all piling in to the Marriott lounge and peeling off layers of coats and vests and laughing and comparing stories of people and things we'd all noticed! Then came the biggest surprise for me! I had an inkling that for coming from Australia I would receive a promotion, I was hoping for Liutenant, but when it came to 'India Company' (Australasia) I was promoted to Captain, and what meant most to me was the Tristan openly and honestly told them all that the 76th wouldn't exist without me! That meant more than any promotion or accolade on the planet! I have often felt left out, left behind, forgotten, expecially with various other things happening in recent months, none of them to do with the 76th, but none-the-less casting a shadow over something I love and am deeply proud of. That moment when he aknowleged my early involvent and attributed the initial 'push' to me made me feel that everything was OK again! Every little bit of saving (and a lot of crap I had to put up with at home) was worth it, just to be aknowleged in this way, and by someone I admire deeply. So - I am now officially the CO (Commanding Officer) of India Company (Australasia) for the 76th battalion, and best of all things are good. It all felt really good and I don't think I can really capture the pride and satisfaction I felt. Perhaps knowing I have Tristan's respect is more important than it should be, but the real thing is that I know I have my own self-respect! I hope I get to have more involvement from now on. I don't know what comes next, but it seems to me that the COs of the various countires and US regions will have to have greater input and communication. There is a lot of good that can come from the 76th and it's growing profile... not just in the realm of gaining greater focus on Firefly and Serenity gaining their rightful places in public awareness, but in building greater networks and friendships and giving people who love the characters and settings of Joss Whedon's 'verse a more effective voice to tell the networks and film studios 'We Want More!"

Dragon*Con, part 2.

2007-10-05T09:24:00.000+01:00

We were woken at 9.30 am by the house-keeping staff who wanted to clean our room – I think we freaked out at the thought as we had so much stuff in the room that they couldn’t’ even move. I asked for more towels and left it at that. We’ll put up the ‘do not disturb’ sign tomorrow!

So we giggled and talked and took in the fact that we’re all here in Atlanta together at last! Rose and I took some cute pics of us in bed together then Engie climbed in and there were more pics… then we had to shower and decide what to wear for the day! I wore my Kaylee costume for the first time, and Engie loaned me a ‘tattoo shirt’ that looks to be along the lines of one of the one’s Jewell Stait wore in the film. I just wore my sneakers coz there’s going to be a lot of walking today!!

We went looking for Whimsy first – she and Tommy had arrived early that morning and we found each other in the foyer of the Hyatt in no time! It was so wonderful to hug her at last!! Then we went to lunch with the two of them, and Clara, Engie, Washie (Engie and Jimi’s friend from previous years). Rose, Engie and I had several ‘sisters’ photos taken and there were some lovely ones of the whole group! We had the loveliest waitress, and the cutest waiter who looked a lot like Captain Jack Sparrow! Rose and others had an impromptu sing-along to Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody and there was a guy who was the best ‘Silent Bob’ you would ever wish to see!
When we headed back to the convention we managed to attend our first official event, the “Q & A session” with Ron Glass and Mark Shepperd… only Ron didn’t make it so I got up and asked a reasonably good question and got to flirt with Mark a bit, in front of over 1,000 browncoats!! I also got lynched coz we were saying “Oh have you heard of this little TV series called Firefly?” “Yeah – but how good can it be? It got axed half way through the first season?” Whoah!!! I was just trying to make the point that we’ve all been there and had that excuse when trying to ‘convert our friends’ into browncoats, but the audience turned on me… I was lucky to get out alive!!
We spent much of the rest of the day absorbing the atmosphere. Dragon Con is amazing – there were over 30,000 people there on the Friday, and many of them were in costume of some kind! There were kids dressed up too, and I really hadn’t anticipated that, the cutest kid of the day was one dressed as one of the Power Puff Girls. There was a whole family dressed as members of Davy Jones crew… there were all manner of goth and zombiesque and quirky and fun and creative and crazy and scary and downright awesome! I couldn’t believe the diversity and imagination and dedication folk had put into their costumes and even their robots! Yes, there was an R2-D2 unit that moved and made the appropriate noises…

In the evening there were a couple of ‘room parties’ which I have since learned are the norm for conventions of this type! You get your friends together in someone’s room and share a few drinks, talk, chat, nibble whatever is available, enjoy the friends and atmosphere and if you are really, really sleepy you might even manage a tiny little nap on one of the beds in the room… on the way to the Marriott to enjoy ourselves with many of the 76th I discovered a shy Ninja Kitty... my gorgeous friend, Sara or Hell's Kitten from Fireflyfans.net and the 76th Battalion!
After our first party in Jimi, Washie & Fireflygal’s room we headed across to the International Tower of the Hyatt and joined the Boothes for some more enjoyment! Their room was much, much larger and I got to meet their gorgeous daughter, Audrey! Autumn wasn’t terribly well, but they were wonderful and gracious hosts! It was wonderful to see what people had dressed up as, especially Jack who does a wonderful Badger!
When all was said and done we headed home though I know it took several hours before we went to bed… it was around 4am when I finally fell asleep, I was excited about the parade in the morning and had to make sure all was organised before I went to bed… I had to be up very early and knew I mustn’t forget anything!

Dragon*Con, part 1.

2007-10-05T04:35:00.000+01:00

The day I had been counting down to for almost a year was upon me. Seriously - it might not have been the ultimate reason I initially intended to travel to the USA, but with their countdown on their home page, the Dragon*Con people had kept me on track with my general knowledge of just how far away my trip was at all times! No matter who I met in the last week, it was this opportunity to meet friends, who felt more like family at times, in person for the first time that had me aiming for this particular weekend at the end of August for my big holiday to the USA!

We had pretty much stayed up all night, Jimi working on fixing Leo's laptop computer for him and finishing off a few things on his own computer, me sewing the brown stripes (ribbon) on my 76th uniform pants. I finally crashed at around 7.30am but Jimi woke me at 9.30, I showered and was ready by 10am... we had a few more errands to run, but we were on our way shortly after 10 and well on our way to Atlanta by lunchtime!

Along the way we found a petrol station that sold Bawls, unfortunately we assumed that we'd find more when we were closer to Atlanta as we wanted to get some for Rose! My Mei Mei adores the drink as it's an energy drink that relies on natural ingredients and not ‘taurine’ (which I personally find revolting myownself)! It was delicious stuff!
We arrived at Kennesaw, and collected Ken (Zephyr), Ilse (Canter) and a lot of Airsoft weapons (which Lost_thought had posted to Zephyr as it was simpler than attempting to travel with them in his luggage and they were needed for those who didn't have weapons of their own for the parade!) and Jimi set out for 'down town' Atlanta where the three host hotels (The Hilton, the Marriott and the Hyatt) were as well as the nearby 'overflow' hotels (also more reasonably priced) where Zeph was staying at the Holiday Inn . Canter and I were duly dropped off at the Hyatt where we were both staying, and Jimi left to deposit Zeph at his temporary place of rest, and headed to the airport for a few more incoming browncoats! Jimi was to barely rest during the entire con! He is one amazing guy!

Canter and I found ourselves among the very first arrivals, in the near-empty foyer of the incredible looking Hyatt hotel at 2pm on the Thursday of D*C! Registration didn't start until 4pm, and the people whose rooms we were booked into hadn't left our names at the desk, so we were unable to check in. We discovered that we could leave our luggage at the main concierge desk and head off and the timing was perfect coz in no time Zeph was there telling us that some folk from the 76th whom he knew from previous shindigs at Tristan's (Tom's) were heading to the Atlanta Aquarium to kill some time before they were able to register for the convention. Canter and I were a little uncertain as we'd not really made any arrangement to find our room mates, but Zeph assured me that Jimi knew the plan, and Rose would know where I was, and that they could all be in touch via their mobile phones.

So off we went. It was really hot and humid, but what a gorgeous day! We walked downhill (remember this means we were required to walk uphill on the way home!) to the area where both Coco~Cola World (the headquarters of Coc~Cola Worldwide and from all accounts a very interesting experience to visit) and the Atlanta Aquarium were located right beside a pretty park. There Zeph was glomped by a gorgeous lady whom I instantly recognised as my lovely friend Aleta, or Captain 'Jett' West of the 76th Battalion. and Fireflygal to anyone else who is on a firefly fan site! We were soon hugging and chatting like we'd spent a large part of our lives together!! We had a lot of fun with the statue outised Coco~Cola World, Canter pretending to take the proffered glass and Sigg pretending to spike the other glass of Coke on the nearby table!
We were soon inside the cool interior of the wonderful aquarium. One of the first things we did was visit the touching pool where there were tiny little sharks and rays who deliberately swam near the side, they genuinely seemed to enjoy being touched!! They felt amazing! We all had a lot of fun feeling the different textures of the two varieties of marine life, but then the creatures had their ten minute break... yes, even fish-life get a ten minute break every hour!!

Following this we headed to the anemones which were also in a touching pool - this time the water was bitterly cold and my hand started to feel quite numb, but the sensation was completely different to anything I anticipated or had experienced before! We saw so many different freshwater and marine animals that I lost track – but I took many, many pictures. The most amazing realization for me was that sea otters are huge! I had always imagined them to be the size of platypus, but they are about 10 times larger and very fluffy when they dry out! They are also very cute!! My favourite places in the aquarium included the huge tank where there were 4 Beluga Whales Nico was the name of the only male (it tickled us that Nico was represented though he’d been unable to attend D*C at the last minute) and the other three were female! They were huge and very, very graceful and I felt like I could have watched them for hours on end! While we were standing there and watching these enormous creatures moving so gracefully through the water, we were greeted by Scott, Akin from the 76th (Also known as Akin the finder as he’s the one who found the discarded Ariel Ambulance from the episode of Firefly with the same name!) and his gorgeous lady Dale, or Mockingbird, whom I instantly adored and have never had a moment of feeling anything else for!!

My next favourite place was the enormous sea tank where there were sharks, large rays and sword fish among other creatures… there was one of those tunnels under the tank that I have seen on TV (this is really the first time I have visited a dedicated aquarium when I think about it) and I watched these huge sea-creatures glide over me. When we exited the tunnel there were other viewing points of that same tank and at the other side an enormous ‘window’ on to it! The man who was talking about the different species was dwarfed by the size of the tank – but I couldn’t get far enough back to do the size of it all justice with my camera!

My final “I-could-stay-here-all-day” spot was in the jellyfish area. They were playing wonderful gentle watery music and the lighting was just perfect. I both photographed and videoed this with my new camera as well! I am really, thrilled with it and very impressed with the results too! My wonderful sisters, Trudi and Leigh, and their families, bought me the Kodak digital camera for my 40th birthday less than a month ago!!!

It seemed like no time and Canter and I were standing in front of the final tank, one dedicated to the Great Barrier Reef, and as the only two Antipodeans (or inhabitants Southern Hemisphere) we started singing at the same moment, “just keep swimming, just keep swimming… what do we do we swim.. swim..” in the way of Dory from the film ‘Finding Nemo’ I loved every minute I spent with Canter and it was pure joy to discover we had the same quirky sense of humour!!

Then we hit the hot footpath and walked up the hill to the hotels again… just as I was standing there pondering what to do, I heard a distant shout (which turned out to be “Jie Jie!!!”) and a moment later I was literally glomped!!! My precious Mei Mei, Phoenix Rose had spotted me across the, now more busy, foyer of the Hyatt Hotel and thrown herself across the intervening distance to hug me once and for all!!! I was so excited!!! She is as gorgeous and adorable and wonderful and warm and positive in real life as she is online and on phone and in all our conversations ever!!! One of the greatest joys in my life has been the friendships I have made though Firefly and its fans, and one of the most precious friends among them is my Mei Mei (Little Sister), Rose!
Rose had found (or had they found Rose?) the two Michaels from Glasgow – NavySeils and his friend Michael who was to be fondly known as ‘Auxiliary backup Michael’ though he was too much of a treasure to be anyone’s 2nd choice!! The quote of the con came within moments when Navy said “I’ve seen more kilts in the last 2 hours in this foyer than I’ve seen in the whole of Scotland in the last 2 years!!” It was a keen observation on the ability of geeks to embrace the Scottish dress and wear it (very poorly, in most case, but with such pride)!
I checked in, with Rose’s assistance and soon had folk in giggles as I made the (rather reasonable, I thought) observation, that there was a queue for the lifts now, where there hadn’t been any earlier… trust me – there was a permanent queue for the rest of the con – but Americans prefer to call it a line for the elevator!!

Soon unpacked and headed down to the hall where we could register we found ourselves in an apparently never-ending queue (sorry, ‘line’) for our name tags and passes to the convention. While we were there we constantly met others in the snake-like queue who were browncoats, apparent by their lanyards proclaiming their loyalty to Firefly, their T-shirts with pictures and quirky quotes from the series and film and most apparent of all, their Jayne-hats which many folk were wearing!!! Unfortunately it took ages to get our necessary ID to have free access to the events and we were late to meet the people who were walking to the Vortex, and restaurant which was supposedly nearby and where we were to meet more of the 76th! Fortunately we did find our other Mei Mei, Elizabeth who’s also kown as Engine Angel/Engie, As she was staying in our room we were able to tell her we’d put her name down at reception and she could check in without us present! She was with other friends from previous years so she didn’t have to hand around and wait for us, and we soon caught up with Carl Boothe from the 76th and his gorgeous wife, Autumn, who were heading back to the Marriott Hotel to meet Tom, Laura and Cindy and would walk us to the Vortex as it was some distance from the Con…
It was just wonderful to be reunited with my Kaylee-clone, Cindy - also known as VerseExplorer on FFF.net and PFC Vex on the 76th! She and I are really just like twins separated by time and distance!! While we were waiting to meet up with Boothe and his wife, Cindy, Rose and I noticed my very favourite guest for D*C standing nearby. Mark Shepperd!!!! I am a huge fan of his, he is one of those versatile, all-round actors who does humour without sending himself up, and dramatic without taking himself too seriously, he can be as sweet as a kitten and also played one of the most disturbing characters in Medium I have ever seen… a psychotic doctor who died and 100 years later kept repossessing new people to carry out more murders to give him his thrills! *shudders* But he is one of my idols and I got to meet him!! He was just the nicest man you could imagine! Open and warm, friendly and (breathe, Magda... breathe!!!) he knew who I was from my messages on his MySpace page!!! I couldn’t believe it! He is also in the 3rd season of ‘Battle Star, Galactica’ (which I keep intending to watch some time, though we're not even up to the third season in Australia yet...) and will appear in the new series of ‘The Bionic Woman’! I went a little ‘fan girl’, but it was a moment that would have made the whole con worthwhile (and there were several of those for me!)
By the way – Boothe wasn’t kidding about the distance to the Vortex! !! It was a good 2 miles or so and in the heat and humidity of the Atlanta summer, and through some of the less savory neighbourhoods, we were very glad of his escort.

More amazing friends were met, from Alicia/Boomergoodheart and her family to Sue/HappyShinyKlingon (SHK) and many others!!! I was just blown away with the warmth and family atmosphere we had between us!! Melisa/Radegund & /Mary/Kaele, her sister, Daisy and their Mother, also Mary! I thought it was the most awesome thing out that their mother supported them in this and came to be a part of it all! Rumour had it that Hell's Kitten was there earlier but had left by the time we got there!

I have no idea how long we were there or how long it took us to walk back to the Hotels, what time we went to bed or anything, but we eventually made it back to our room where Engie and her best friend, Clara were already asleep! Our Dragon Con adventure had begun!

Further Adventures in the USA!

2007-10-05T03:49:00.001+01:00

On the Sunday (my 2nd full day in the US) we ate at another amazing restaurant - it was a place that specialised in cheese cakes, but we didn't even have room to finish our brunch, let alone attempt dessert!!! I have to tell you that I have discovered something incredible that we don't have in Australia - cheese grits!! Grits are hard to describe... they are a little like porridge but they are finer... today we had some with cheese cooked through them too - oh can you imagine me discovering something that you can eat for breakfast or brunch that tastes of cheese? I couldn't finish my entire plate full (a regular occurrence in the USA I find!) and the rest was Eggs Florentine with American 'biscuit" (refer to my previous blog to explain this American ‘weirdness’ LOL!)
Jimi was working for the next few days, so after saying farewell, for the time being we drove to Jimi’s parent’s place (about 2 hours from Atlanta) to collect Zachary and Aiden, his sons who are 4 and 2 years old. His parents were so welcoming and hospitable! Jane and Pat have built their own home and it is just gorgeous - I wish I had the presence of mind to ask if I could take a couple of photos - but we are going back there on Wednesday as they are having the boys again for the weekend of Dragon*Con which Jimi and I are attending in Atlanta!!

Speaking of which - the last few things I ordered for my 76th uniform arrived at Jimi's place in the last couple of days... my pants fit perfectly, the vest which Tom made is a little large - but that's better than small - my boots look fantastic after I dyed them on Thursday night (yeah - the night before I flew to the USA!!!) and my belt arrived just the day before I did (they have Saturday post here!) and it fits perfectly too!! I am very excited about marching in the parade in Atlanta now!!

Jimi shares a house with his ex-wife, Ami and their gorgeous boys, and Ami's baby daughter, Emma, who is just 9 days old!!! While I was there Ami's boyfriend, Leo, was also living there, though he is a recent addition to the household.

The boys are so gorgeous and I couldn't wait to read them some of the books I brought with me for them - the Steve Parish books about Australian animals which have his pictures in them! I met and got along with the cats and the dogs, though poor PJ was a bit sad that he wasn’t allowed inside, Jack is too big and rough to have around baby Emma and it isn’t fair to have one dog and not the other. The wild cat, Darcy (whom I shall always refer to as ‘Miss Darcy’ out of respect) took to me like an old friend, she is supposed to be really tough and mean, but we had some special moments and I wasn’t scratched once. The others are Alexander (a very shy boy cat) and another cat (who’s name I am ashamed to say I can’t really recall right now… perhaps he was Jack?) The rest of the week went quietly, since Jimi was working and I stayed home with Ami and the boys and baby Emma. Of course I was in my element and felt good about being there to lend a hand somewhat! The first few days while I was there I would walk into a room and Aiden would glare at me and shout “No! Back Up!” but in a few days he was attempting to say my name and snuggling up with me for cuddles and naps! Zachary is an independent spirit and a wonderful, intelligent and articulate boy! They adore their Dad and seemed quite happy to have me there! Baby Emma is a good baby, though she was unsettled the first couple of days I was there, she soon became really idyllic when she was put on lactose free formula as Ami. It’s amazing what a change in diet can do!

On the Wednesday night Jimi and I drove the boys over to his parents again. Jane and Pat live about an hour and a half from Warner Robins where the family live. I saw something there that I hadn’t seen in my life before! A tiny little humming bird!! They have a bird feeder just outside the window and I was mesmerized, probably to the amusement of the people who are used to such tiny, fast-like-a-freak birds, but I tried in vain to get a good photo… they all were too small and too lacking in contrast to make the birds out properly! What a thrill though! Before we returned to his home, Jimi and I took a detour to meet up with Bryon, another memeber of the 76th who lives in Georgia! Due to some serious injuries and the financial implications of no longer being able to work (and a heap of legal issues with his former employer, which I will not vent my frustration at here) Bryon is not able to march with us at D*C on Saturday and isn't even able to come and watch, so he had a couple of weapons to loan to members of the group, and some pebbles for Canter (did I mention that Canter collects pebbles from friends as a way of connecting with them and keeping personal memento's?) It was pure joy to meet up with him and spend about an hour chatting at a 'road house' in the town near to where he lives! Bryon was really terrific, and nice, decent, down to earth guy with a terrific sense of humour and a warmth that I am rapidly associating with members of the 76th! It's a pity the others won't get to meet him and vice versa! My only regret was that he didn't bring any of his extensive collection of snakes with him - I actually love non-poisonous snakes! His call sign on the 76th is "Bryon Boas" and there is good reason for that!! Oh hang on - my other regret is that I forgot to take something I had brought over with me for him... I seem to have a talent for taking things half way around the world and then either forgetting them, or just not finding them when I have the opportunity to give them to the person they were intended for! Next Stop, Atlanta again! And the convention I am here for… Dragon*Con!! It almost seems impossible that I will meet so many more of my Firefly and 76th Battalion family in the next 48 hours - but it is finally about to happen!!

I'm in the USA!!!

2007-08-28T16:53:00.000+01:00

I am here in Georgia with my friends Jimi and Ken and Ilse, at Ken's unit in Atlanta (well he keeps telling me it's Kennesaw, but as far as I am concerned it's part of Atlanta!) I had a pretty good time of the travelling (on the longest Friday ever), with one experience that made it less enjoyable - it took almost 3 hours to clear customs and immigration in Los Angeles, so I missed my connecting flight to Chicago, but despite a few minutes of panic I was booked, by United Airlines, on to a Delta Airlines flight directly to Atlanta... thus alleviating an excruciating flight to Chicago worrying that I might miss my connecting flight at that airport on account of a 35 minute period between my Los Angeles flight scheduled landing and my Atlanta flight departing! This way I actually arrived in Atlanta about an hour and 20 minutes earlier than I had expected and of course this meant I arrived an hour and 20 minutes earlier than my friends expected too! I hadn't had time to contact Jimi in Los Angeles (as I had to run to check in for the aforementioned flight), so after I had collected my luggage I found a phone card kiosk and bought a $10 card which allowed me to phone him and let him know I was already in Atlanta! I settled in to wait, but in no time Jimi, Ken and Ilse (who arrived from South Africa the night before me) were there with Bill who is also a native of Atlanta and who recently joined the 76th battalion! (the Firefly/Serenity tribute battalion of which I am a founding memeber and I am marching with them at their inaugural appearance at Dragon Con on Saturday 1st September!)

We squeezed into Jimi's car (Jimi is 6' 6" & Ken is 6' 1", Ilse, Bill and I were in the back) and drove back to Ken's place... Ken lives in a hotel style block of rooms each with a mini kitchen and bathroom and he arranged for Ilse (who's also known as Canter in case I refer to her as that) and I to have a room just upstairs from him. Jimi stayed with Ken and we got settled in and caught up! My Tim Tam's (chocolate filled 'cookies' with chocolate coating) appear to have travelled unscathed which I consider a minor miracle... so far we haven't found a broken one at all!!! And they love them here!! For a country where there is an amazing variety of foods available it is such fun to find something I can bring which is unique and a new experience for my friends here!

Bill headed home and at about 2am we decided to head to bed, but of course Ilse and I had showers and talked and talked - we're both in different time zones to what we're used to so we were wide awake and suddenly we found it was 5 am!! I lost count of the number of times I said "I'm in America!" and it became a bit of a catch cry between us today!!

On Saturday we woke up around 9.30 and by 12 midday we were at a place called 'Cracker Barrel' where we had breakfast! The food was amazing! I had 'biscuits' (lighter than scones but more like scones than anything I can think of) With gravy - which was thick and chicken based... it was delicious! It's a bit Southern thing to have biscuits and gravy for breakfast!! Ilse and I are learning that a lot of American culture revolves around food! Most of it fried or covered in gravy or served with so many sauces you can't decide which one is most delicious!! You are offered Coke or 'sweet tea' most of the time - Atlanta is the home of Coca-Cola and sweet tea is actually iced tea - they look at you funny if you don't know this - but in this heat it's actually very refreshing and I already getting a taste for it! (especially as it isn't fizzy...) The shops are already filling with Halloween and 'fall' themed items - and the things here seem so inexpensive - you have to remember that the exchange rate isn't awesome though... better than it was a couple of years ago - but not awesome!
We went to Wal-Mart this afternoon - I bought a few essential items I either forgot or hadn't anticipated! (My toothpaste was confiscated as hand luggage on account of it being a 'liquid/gel' in a container that held more than 100ml!!!) The food items I recognised were mostly in a variety of flavours hitherto unimagined - like s'more's flavoured breakfast cereal or peanut butter and chocolate flavoured 'buds' to be added to 'cookies' or desserts...) or available in such enormous quantities we couldn't use them up in 5 years... let alone have enough space to store them!! The other thing about the USA is that everything is BIG!! I mean HUGE!! or... tiny miniature!! I have the tiniest shampoo and toothpaste you could imagine but milk usually comes in 4 litre bottles - a two litre bottle is small... nothing smaller unless you really look for it!! Weird... huh?

After heading 'home' to unpack and refridgerate things, we headed to another supermarket, Public, this time to meet another 76th member, Stevie (PVT Dae) - there is a photograph of this occasion which I will add here if I ever manage to work out how to upload/post them!!

We went to this amazing place for dinner that night, Williamsons Brothers BBQ, and met up with Tom and Laura... it was much better than I was worried it might be... I felt a little weird but fine with all my wonderful friends around keeping an eye on me! I talked with Laura a lot, mostly about stuff not to do with the 76th or anything... and Tom became an uncle yesterday when Kriste and Doug had a baby boy named Richard Grayson! My wombat, kangaroo and koala soft toys were passed on with many thanks from 'Uncle' Tom and it was fine. Weird... but fine.
I have now met 8 members of the 76th in all! Cindy/PFC Vex (who visited me in Australia recently), Jimi/SFC Alexander, Ken/LT Zephyr, Ilse/CPL Canter, Bill/PVT Birddog, Stevie/PVT Dae, Tom/COL Tristan O'Tearney and Laura/SGT Wendt. (In case you're wondering I am SFC Magda Martin. )

On Saturday night we also watched the newly released US special edition of 'Serenity' with the commentary on... it's Joss Whedon, Nathan Fillion, Adam Baldwin, Ron Glass and Summer Glau talking about their recollections of making the movie! It was so much fun to see and hear it with these friends, I will always remember that my first experience of watching it was with these precious friends from all over the world!

I reliased something about my journey, one of those things that catches my imagination... on Friday, whilst travelling around the world, I set foot in 4 Olympic cities in 24 hours... I don't suppose there's a lot of folk who can say that!! I shall also visit another one before I return home to Australia too!

Oh, and I will update my blog along the way as I can!

procrastination...

2007-08-17T14:01:00.000+01:00

Why do I procrastinate so badly - it's like I self destruct or something... here I am with about a million things to do and I am sitting here writing a blog that I really don't have to write... but it hit me that I could and it seems like a good idea...

I was going to cook some goodies for my party tomorrow night... but I ate half the biscuit dough and now I feel slightly ill...

I was going to have a shower and wash my hair so I don't have to in the morning so I can later in the day and be all fresh for my party (see, som ethought went into that plan...) but now I am feeling so sleepy and I don't want to go to bed with wet hair...

I was going to write some emails to folk whom I love and am thinking of, but now my brain is in a muddle (probably from all the biscuit dough I ate) and I don't even know if what I'm writing here is going to make sense...

I was going to start making some little thank you card for friends who come to my party and for those who have already sent me cards and gifts... but I can't get any good ideas on what to make with the materials I have here...

I was going to finish my costume for tomorrow night... but... now I'm not and I can't even think clearly enough to have a reason for that so... *sigh*

I think I'll go to bed...

after I think of something else that will prevent me from doing so...

goodnight!

Life...

2007-08-04T16:44:00.000+01:00

Life has been... well, interesting lately

When I last posted on this blog I was so happy - I was in love and felt loved and cared for in return - I was losing weight and with good motive too, I was going to meet someone really special and wanted to look my best for him. I had a friend whom I could tell anything, and everything to, and I was certain he felt the same way... not only from the things he said to me, but from the things he said to others.

Then he dropped his bombshell.

How did he expect me to react, knowing (as he did, as he had aknowleged) that I was in love with him and that I couldn't wait to spend time with him in his home town, meeting his friends and family, spending time just getting to know the little things about him that our intense correspondence and phone conversations couldn't convey. How could he not see that suddenly and casually announcing he was in love with someone else would shatter me and the fact that the person in question was not only 16 years younger than me, but knew how I felt about him and was aware of our plans together in September, only made me feel more betrayed and helpless and rejected...?

How could he not understand my confusion and hurt? How did he manage to twist my emails full of insecure 'begging for reassurance' that I mattered as a friend if no longer as a lover, into 'attacks', as I hear he has accused me of making. How could he reject my friendship after I had shown again and again that I was loyal to him, and cared about him as a friend more than any potential we had as lovers or partners?

Why, when I thought we were going to be the 'precious friends' we had talked about, did he suddenly turn on me? Since his new 'love' was staying with him at the time and he implied that she wasn't happy with me, I had to assume that he turned on me and made rambling accusations that did not reflect me or my behaviour in any way, on account of her insisting he have nothing to do with me. I was more shattered at that point than at any other... I almost cancelled my trip to the US because I couldn't picture myself having to meet someone I had loved so much for so long who had turned on me so viciously and without explaination.

I made a throwaway comment to the effect that I tried to be friends but his new 'girlfriend' had demanded we have nothing to do with one another - I tried to clothe it in cute, fairytail teminology so that I could let my friends (who both cared about me and were concerned about how things were going in this area of my life) would know that we weren't on good terms but that it wasn't my choice. He saw what I said and was ruthless in his reaction. I can't tell you how much I have cried over the last few weeks on account of my own error in making that comment. I have never hurt at anyone elses hands as much as I hurt on account of my own stupid comment which seemed harmless enough at the time, but which apparently was unforgivable. I will have to live with the knowlege that I have had a hand in destroying something that was so precious to me just a short time ago.

I don't know what else I could have done to show him that I honestly wanted his friendship. We turned to one another in difficult times, and he fell in love with me before I allowed myself to fall in love with him. I finally let myself feel something I have resisted for years, and it was wonderful for a while. Now I don't know if I ever can feel that good again... it is too hard to let yourself be that vulnerable to the actions of another person. I want to fall in love again so much, but I am afraid of the hurt and bewilderment (which I don't deal with very well) happening to me again.

How does one just 'decide' that you can't be with the person you profess to 'love and adore'? How does one just switch to someone else and expect the other to be happy for them without hurt or pain or suffering? How could I have reacted differently? I tried so hard to show him that I wanted to be friends. Now I don't know if I can even meet him. I have to if I am to keep doing other things I love doing, and if I am to spend time with friends I love and who's friendship means the world to me... but it means being in contact with someone I have told my deepest desires and most closely held secrets to, and who now prefers to be in the arms of someone who betrayed my friendship and trust. Someone who is young enough to be my daughter (if I was a 16 year old slut of course... but none-the-less, it hurts to know I am considered too old for him...).

In the last few months I have put on weight, not caring what I look like with or without my clothes on... I have lost part of my desire to travel half way around the world, though I am still longing to meet other friends who have been amazing and strong and loyal and caring and understanding and I wouldn't miss the opportunity to hug them for all the world!! In the past few months I have cried more nights than I have not... and I have found my bed more empty than ever... I have slept alone for 7 years now, but for several months there was the promise of someone snuggling up to me and telling me that he adored me... I had hope that I wouldn't have to be alone for the rest of my life... but it turns out that I was mistaken.

It has been really hard not to give in to depression during all of this. I have written other blogs in my MySpace profile... and I have written a million emails to friends and talked about my feelings with my friends, family and even myownself (you get a good hearing that way!).

So how do I feel about this man? I honestly don't know. We are trying to be friends becuase not being friends is just not an option with the committments we've made to the 'project we started' and the friends we share in common, but he is shallow, cold and apparently doesn't want to know where we went wrong... so I still feel rejected and completely uncared about. I am trying for the sake of the group we started - his vision and my encouragement & passion for his idea which got it off the ground. It has taken on a life of it's own - but I treasure the memory of our conversation in which he mentioned this idea. I treasure the moment he asked me to join him as a part of the dream - I was literally his first recruit. I treasure the friends I have made in the group since it started to blossom and take on a life of it's own.

Sometimes I think I might still be in love with him a little... I don't know if that's habit or residual feelings... sometimes I think I love him as a friend, but I do love most folk I know to some degree so that's hardly amazing or incredible to realise. I can't really tell until he starts being open and honest with me, and for that to happen he will have to be honest with himself and I don't know if he's capable of that. I only know that I have lost something that was incredibly precious to me and that I will miss it for a long time to come. The tears still pop up when I least expect them. The feelings are less overwhelming, but they are there and at moments I am vulnerable to them...

I know he will never read this blog. But if he did I guess I would want him to know that I do still care for the friend who used to tell me everything - and I mean everything! I do still care for the vulnerable man who could tell me things that most men wouldn't. I do still care for the sensual side of him in a way... but less than I did. I guess I would give him another opportunity to show me I mattered to him - but I would be far more cautious and it would take something extordinary for me to trust that he cared for me at all... as a friend or anything...

If I could go back would I? I honestly don't know. I was happier knowing his love and feeling my own for him for those few months than I have been in over 10 years. It was a cruel and hard blow to lose that love, but it was more cruel to lose his friendship and trust. If I could do one thing differently I wouldn't have posted that comment that I thought was so inocuous at the time, but which was written from the deep sense of hurt and betrayal I had experienced.

If I could have 'a miracle' I would have him feel what I felt when I wrote to him throughout those confusing and devastating days and weeks after he 'replaced me' with someone who was still in college.

I am turning 40 in just two weeks - I was really looking forward to this, but now I am feeling like my final opportunity for love has passed me by. What is the point of looking forward to the best years of your life when you don't have anyone to share it with... I mean I am looking forward to many, many things... but I would have loved to have a soulmate to talk things over with, and share my thoughts and feelings with, and know he was there to return to at the end of the day... Right now, I don't feel like I will ever be able to try to trust someone with my heart again - but I hope that will change in time. For now I just have to keep hoping this wonderful man I was once in love with will grow to understand how wrong he was about me and learn to accept people in his life with love and trust rather than with resentment and defensiveness.

Damn - now I have to clean my glasses again - these stupid tears have salt in them!

On line relationships...

2007-03-03T14:05:00.000Z

Until a few months ago I would have just about sneered at the thought of an online relationship being sincere or realistic in this day and age... but several people have changed my mind about that and I think I should try to work out why...

I know some of you are thinking "Oh she's talking about on line romance!", well ...yes, and ...no.

Yes - there is a special someone with whom I communicate on line every day (it is seriously unusual for us not to exchange at least one email or PM) and, yes - I would describe him as being more than 'just a friend' (if you can ever describe a friend as 'just' that), but I am also realising that there is a lot of legitimate relationship building done through the Internet in terms of friendships and mentoring and just plain old fun with folk of a similar mind set...

I find my time on line with my friends is really precious to me, and I also find that my friends (for some odd reason) feel the same way about me too... I have 'adopted' several sisters whom I feel a special connection to - Colorado, New York, Utah, North Carolina and Alabama to name a few... and these wonderful women share so freely of themselves - their lives, loves, concerns, sorrows, family moments, fears, embarrassments hopes! Not only that - but they understand and 'embrace' me when I share the things in my heart and in my life!

There are male friends too whom I have come to treasure and respect and to feel a kinship to - in Scotland, England, the US and Canada... they flirt and chat, share their stories and their problems - sometimes just looking for a female perspective, sometimes just seeking information on the Australia way of life, but always making me smile and feel appreciated!

There are friends with whom I have connected over shared experiences like depression, serious illness, migraines, family relationships and heartbreak... there are friends who leave me in awe of their talents at photo-manipulating, computer skills, imagination and storytelling, insight and vision and their own individual ways of expressing all of these things...

There are friends with whom I feel a kindred spirit, those who let me be there for them when they need picking up or a fresh perspective on something - and those who understand my passions coming to the fore, my frustrations and my ignorance about certain topics, my errors and my compassion...

Don't get me wrong - I have many wonderful friends here in my 'physical life' (for want of a better description) - those who have literally held me while I cried over betrayal or heart ache or a sense of insignificance... those who have given me the privilege of being there when they cry or rage or just vent about the things that are worrying or frustrating them! There are friends with whom I have laughed cried and cringed at the movies and danced and sang at concerts and conventions, whose with whom I have travelled, shared a bed, shared a floor space or shared a sofa! Those with whom I have driven all over the state for a weekend of catching up with folk, those who's marriages and family celebrations I have attended, and those who know me and understand me the best... these are the friends that I cherish and adore and they know this (I hope) and will always know how much they mean to me and the place they have in my life!

What I am trying to say is that what I have discovered in the last 6 months or so is that I can have genuine connections and relationships with people whom I have never physically met... people who share so many of their thoughts and feelings in the written word - who's jokes and teasing pick me up, and who's shared difficulties make me feel needed and wanted - and it is a precious and different kind of friendship/relationship - but none the less a very real and legitimate one.

When a generation of men went to war in both the 1910s and 1930s they wrote letters to their girls and friends and family back at home. The written word is very powerful and can convey a lot about a person - so it is no less important to find that in today's fast paced world there are people who still take the time to communicate and share of themselves freely and perhaps even more so for there being half a planet between them... I enjoy, and have a much greater understanding of, who I am because of the way I share myself with these friends and I feel richly blessed to have these friends share freely of their time and themselves with me!

Oh and that 'special someone'... yeah - he is a bright light in my day, and I want to thank him for that too!

I have long since intended to write this blog...

2006-09-29T06:35:00.001+01:00

I have long since intended to write this blog – but it has been difficult to work out what I wanted to say. The other day, however, my friends and I were posting messages about medication and mental health issues at a wonderful forum I joined at firfelyfans.net and this is, in part, what I described the use of medication to treat my depression: I suffer from depression, which started after a serious illness at the age of 29, and in retrospect I had signs that I was vulnerable to this disease prior to that. I am creative and when I finally had a minor break down, after a year of poor health and ever increasing depression, I welcomed the opportunity to try medication - I have never looked back. As my friend ‘Sir Francis’ said so eloquently “I have not lost any creativity. I still write, design theatre sets, and act. And my personality is more truly my own. When I was untreated for the …(disorder), there were times when I was a spectator in my own head. Not in control of what I was saying or doing. With the medications, I am more truly myself. So if that is a change in personality, I welcome it.”

I am lucky, myself, in that I had few, or no, side effects when I was first on the meds I was put on, and lucky too that the first medication I tried seems to be the one that works well for me - I know people with various forms of depression/anxiety disorders who have tried numerous and multiple drugs before finding one/a combination that works for them. I had a few minor side-effects at first... funnily enough loss of libido was initially one, but that diminished over time and wasn't an issue since I was too ill and 'disconnected' to think about being in a relationship at that time... I have described the worst period of depression as if I was working hard to do a ‘passable impersonation of myself’... trying so hard to look for my ‘cues’, react as I felt was expected of me, and laugh as if I actually enjoyed things! During the weeks of initial recovery I was surprised to reconnect with aspects of my personality that I had forgotten existed prior to my initial illness and subsequent spiral into depression. I still think I look 'blank' in photos of me during this period - whether I was 'smiling' or not... I am still creative, more clear headed, have a better memory (yes, depression affects your memory a lot!) and also, in case you were wondering, I have regained a healthy libido! (though I choose to be celibate at present) I would not return to the bad old days for anything. I recently mentioned to a friend that it was a little like having asthma - if you are asthmatic you monitor your condition, take preventative medication and look after yourself accordingly. With depression it is a lot like that - I exercise my mind to be positive in relation to myself and talk things over when I feel 'stuck' or 'trapped' in a situation... I have lots of good friends in real life as well as on the internet, and I adjust my medication, with doctors knowledge, if/when it becomes necessary. Just as if you had a chronic lung condition you have to be prepared for the 'not-so-well-times' as well as the good ones!

In response to some of my friends who wondered if I had tried alternative therapies to the medical one which worked so well for me, I did gain some relief from St. John's Wort, as is a friend of mine at present, but ultimately it was not enough... also I did, and still do, seek counselling when I need to in addition to having close friends to talk with... I did not take the medication alone - I was thoroughly diagnosed by my wonderful doctor who continues to support me and give me sound advice - both emotional and medical at times, as well as valuable counselling when I really need it. I also have a friend who has been taking St John's Wort and is finding it is not as effective as it previously was, and, despite also having regular counselling she's nearing a stage where she is considering medication. My advice to her is to listen to her doctors' advice, ask lots of questions, raise her concerns and if she feels she is not being taken seriously then find another doctor - I have an awesome one and I am very grateful for that! It sometimes folk that I do suffer from depression, because I hide it really well and generally have a very positive attitude to life... but this is not about attitude alone and that is important to understand. It is sometimes scary opening my mouth and telling people that I suffer from this illness, and the responses are varied, but rarely the judgemental ones I fear! Mostly it's almost relief that they can speak openly themselves about their own/sisters’/husbands’/sons’/daughters’/parents’/friends’…etc. struggles with depression with someone who is open and understanding of the situation... that is when I realise there is a very positive aspect to being able to draw on my own experiences - even though I would not wish them on my worst enemy

I have meant to do this for a long time and this has been a really good opportunity to talk about something that is dear to my heart as I feel 'demystifying' mental illness of any sort is really important in our society!

Also I must say that I have been richly blessed as a result of having had depression. I have made deep connections with others suffering with similar illnesses... and have been privileged to be there for those coming to terms with it too... I couldn’t be there for others with the same degree of understanding if I hadn’t ‘been there’ myself.

Finally I have to say a huge thank you to all those friends with whom I have discussed depression whether in person or on line… I have found some of my most treasured and profound relationships have been those where the honesty and sharing of this sort of information has been taken so well. You are all so dear to me and will always be. I love to be there for my friends – it is one of the greatest privileges in my life, and one of the ways in which I feel most fulfilled… as I often say to those close to me – “sometimes I really need to be needed”.

Thank you Whimsy, Taliena, LittleAlbatross29, Sir Francis, Tristan, Rhax, Kimando and Phoenix Rose for giving me a push in the right direction... and to all my friends for your awesome support! - I love you guys!! x x x x x x x

One amazing lady...

2006-08-11T16:54:00.000+01:00

Hi all my wonderful friends - I finally managed to write a new entry and it is thanks to a wonderful lady who goes by the awesome name 'WhimsicalnBrainpan'.

I met 'Whimsy' on Fireflyfans.net where lots of us Browncoats (I'll explain in another entry) get together and keep the fire burning! We have one thing in common - our (sometimes fanatical) love of Joss Whedon's sadly short-lived series 'Friefly' and share our stories and hopes, dreams and celebrations as well as having a laugh and using our imagination a lot! The friends I have made there are more real than I realise on-line friends could be and just one of them is the lovely Whimsy!

Her story is amazing - and life changing, and the first thing I thought was that I needed to get serious about some things in my life - taking control of aspects that I have seriously let slide in recent months. I also felt that sometimes we have great power at our fingertips with this tool - the internet, and, more specifically, the opportunity to share our insights, hopes, dreams, inspirations and experiences on our blogsites.

I urge you to look at Whimsy's blog if you have ever thought you had a bad run of luck, or if you ever thought things were too tough to handle. I feel so much more blessed when I think of what she has gone through and what I have to cope with compared to her experiences. What an amazing lady to share her horrific experiences so simply but with a sense of wry humour as well as gratitude that she is able to share her story at all.

Finally - today is my 39th birthday - and I cannot believe that I have to admit to being in my 'late 30s' - age is just so irrelevant when we look at our impact on the world - starting with our friends and family, our local community and our potential to impact the global community. If you want to know I only feel 30, but then again I know that if I am ever to become a mother in one way or another it's time to take care of the small things - and let the big one's follow.

Grace and peace to you all and thank you for your love, I know it's there and it sustains me more, at times, than you might imagine!

Love - Mem x x x

where's the wombat?

2006-07-01T07:21:00.000+01:00

Hi peoples! This crazy little wombat is very sorry not to have been on line often enough to 'blog' recently - it's been over 4 months since I last posted anything! (I am so ashamed!) But I have a new obsession and I think it's about time I shared it with you all!

It's called.... Firefly!

I cannot believe how long it took me to actually watch the series on DVD, but whilst house-sitting for my friend, Aveline, I finally got around to it and ... in less than a month I have memorised whole episodes line for line, joined a fansite, dropped off the fansite in a freak computer-thing-of-some-description, re-joined the website, watched every episode with and without commentary at least 3 times each, watched Serenity (the movie) too many times to remember (at least 8 times?) and seen it on the big screen at a charity event! I do not do things by half-measures!

As a result of this I have a few new words in my vocabulary so here they are in case I use them and you have no idea what I am talking about:

Shiney - good, terrific, great, positive, awesome!
'Verse - universe
BDH - big damn heroes
BDM - big damn movie
Gorram! - (Probably 'God damned' but lets ignore that and think of it as a good gutteral sound in appropriate situations)

In addition to this names such as Innara, Mal, Jayne and Wash, River, Simon or Kaylee might pop into my conversation - and if I start to look dreamy and say things like "mmmmm Jayne... yum!" I am not becoming a lesbian (just incase you're a single, secure, Christian male, more-or-less sane and planning to ask me to marry you) but mentally drooling over Adam Baldwin's character!

I will go into some more observations and thoughts in detail at some later stage - just thought you'd all like to know is-all! (Oh yeah, I might start talking a little like a cowboy too!)

Life of a gypsy?

2006-02-17T02:54:00.000Z

For those of you who have read my profile you'll know that I live the life of a gypsy ... well I have no fixed address anyway! It's funny that referring to yourself as a gypsy in this day and age sounds somewhat romantic, carefree and bohemian, but mentioning that you have 'no fixed address' makes you sound like a desperate criminal on the run from the authorities!

Actually gypsies were always looked on with suspicion and were often the first people accused of any petty theft or even major crime in the days when they were roaming Europe, the UK and even further afield.

Although we now associate gypsies with fortune telling, colourful outfits and alluring dark-skinned, dark eyed people with a mystery about them and a freedom in their lifestyle, they were, in fact, struggling to make a living - traveling from town to town offering to do odd jobs for a meagre amount of money. Women would look after the family, collecting herbs and edible plants from the surrounding area, bartering hand made (or previously acquired) trinkets for additional food, cloth and clothing. They cooked, washed, kept the camp tidy and cared for the children - using their extensive knowledge to treat health ailments and injuries, a fact which often saw them accused of witchcraft, an accusation not helped by their being prepared to 'mix love potions' or tell people their future for a little more income.

The men were itinerant workers, finding menial and seasonal work on farms and in towns, usually walking miles just to speak with a farmer to find out if there was any work for them to do. They became adept at all kinds of work including carpentry, tinsmithery, mending roof-structures (thatching, slate and wood) and unpleasant work which fewer and fewer local people were prepared to do with the rise of industrialisation. One cannot imagine what a fit, healthy gypsy might have been paid to move manure or stir manure-heaps which were in the process of rotting into fertiliser.

On the upside - they did not pay taxes as they owned no land, they were often fit and healthy from their physical work and fresh, clean lifestyle, not to mention the knowledge of herbs and plants which had therapeutic and medicinal value, passed down from generation to generation. They were raised in multi-generational family-groups and had an education appropriate to their lifestyle. Gypsies usually traveled in groups so there was a 'safety net' of family and friends - a portable, self-contained community - who would help one another out in hard times.

On the 'not-so-upside' gypsies were looked upon with suspicion which grew from fear of the stranger, the unknown. They were usually not trusted and were often accused of any crime, small or large, which took place when they were in the area. There is no doubt that many innocent men, women and children were accused and, at best, arrested or, at worst, lynched, attacked and 'run out of town'. There were certainly times when people planning to commit a crime would wait until the gypsies were in the area in order to implicate the 'strangers' in their midst. We never want to concede that someone we know and trust is capable of committing a crime - no matter how minor - and it is simply easier for people to blame those whom they don't know or didn't trust in the first place.

So how do I find life as a modern day 'gypsy' of 'no fixed address'? Well far from being distrusted or mistreated I find myself trusted with much more than most people! Many world wanderers or just local travelers have entrusted me, not only with all their worldly belongings, but with access to personal items, computers, books & files, showing faith that I will not abuse their trust by looking into their personal lives. Maybe most impressive is the way they entrust their pets to my care. I am in a unique and rare position - to have a glimpse of how others live and work and what they hold most dear, without that relationship being 'voyeuristic' in any way. I answer their phone calls, collect and organise their mail, sometimes even checking emails for them, but these are minor services compared to paying rent when I am trying to clear debt and build a 'nest egg' for the future.

I don't imagine the Gypsies of yesteryear would have quite so much freedom!!

...with a little help from my friend!

2006-01-26T05:12:00.000Z

I am already learning new things this year - but it takes a good teacher to get me to understand anything even remotely technical, not to mention related to computers and the internet!! My gorgeous friend has taught me how to add links to my blog. . . so my first link is to her excellent, and highly recommended blog this broccoli must die!

I love the way she sums up her experiences and gives insight to her values. Without friends like these I would not grow in knowlege myself, nor have the outlet to explore my own wisdom!

Stay tuned for more blogs and websites that I recommend - but for now, it's 41 degrees centergrade!!!! I'm jumping into the pool! ... with my friends!!

I'm too busy to be in a hurry!

2006-01-19T10:25:00.000Z

I was thinking about how I was going to fit everything into one day recently when I heard someone say the above words, and it made me pause to think!

At first I thought (to put it in the words of Rove McManus) "What the...?!" but then I thought more about it! You know it really does make sense in a weird kind of way!

I have a lot of goals this year (Oh, and I added one more too...) and if I am going to achieve any of them (let alone all of them) I am going to have to put a lot of time and effort into each area I want to improve in! That shouldn't mean that I have to find more hours in each day (like Hermione Grainger in 'The Prisoner of Azkaban') but that I should be better organised and work out what the term 'time management' is all about!

(BTW: I was invited to a time management workshop last year but I kept looking at the invitation and thinking "I must get around to RSVPing to that..." and I never actually did!!! (Sad, but true!) )

If I utilise my time more efficiently and I'm actually organised in my general life and possessions I will be able to put better quality time into my work, goals and achievements without having to give up sleep altogether, notonly that, I should be able to do things to a higher standard than if I ran around like a chook with my head chopped off!

It's a funny thing but when I do get organised I also get excited about what I achieved and that sort of energises me to do other things! Have you ever noticed that?

And my other intention for 2006? It is 'to be a better friend by commitment!' I have already caught up with some people with whom I have been out of touch for a couple of years and I've seen two films this year!! ('Narnia' & 'Rumour Has It' - both good, but Narnia is better!)

So after all that pondering I felt that I had had an epiphany of sorts (and in the season of Epiphany too!!) ...but then I realised that I had lingered a little too long at church and there were people waiting for me at the nearby coffee shop for a catch up so I dashed off! . . .

Making Commitments or Resolutions?

2006-01-01T11:12:00.000Z

I'm making some resolutions this year, but first I want to tell you about a 'moment' I had in the first hour of 2006!

I said farewell to my closest friend who had come and sat in my parents criminally overhot house where I was looking after 3 of my nieces and nephews, and as she walked to her car I realised I'd been looking forward to the end of 2005 as it had been a difficult one for me in many ways, but in looking back I had overcome a great deal and I'm very proud of the challenges I faced and the setbacks I overcame!

This year I have some goals? ...challenges? ...promises? ...commitments? ...or will I just call them resolutions like everyone else? I tried to rank them in a style of commitment something like this:

I will be healthier by effort.

I will be self confident by practice.

I will be a terrific Creative Memories consultant by consistency.

I will be a more committed and growing Christian by priority.

It seems to me that the four things I aim to achieve this year are kind of impossible for the outsider to measure, so it's a very personal choice I've made, and also that they all support and strengthen one another.

My health is improving by degrees and by knowlege of what my body responds to. By having regular chiropractic treatment for back and neck problems I have almost eliminated the chronic headaches of my past, learned a great deal about cause and effect and taken the next step in prevention of dis-ease in my body by tapping into suppliments which have seen me get through a whole year without a virus, 'flu or even a heavy cold! I am reading and looking into healthier food choices and lifestyle commitments which should see me ...

Feel more energetic and probably lose weight! I should be able to build my self esteem and self confidence by degrees! As my body (and immune system) gains strength, I will feel better equipt to tackle new challenges and every time I succeed (or just try) I will gain a little more! Which will also enable me to...

Put myself into 'scary' situations like (OK don't laugh!) phoning up people! I have a real phone phobia, and it has sadly been reflected in my follow up of friends and customers in my business! By stepping up to talk on the phone, I'll be better prepared for home classes, workshops and accepting new business opportunities!

And my faith? Everything I do and learn is a new opportunity to know God better! Every challenge I undertake I do so with Jesus as my guide and mentor! Every new friend I find is a new reason to thank God! Every good and great thing is a gift from above!

Have a safe, happy and fulfilling new year ... and beyond!

Christmas makes it's own traditions!

2005-12-26T04:53:00.000Z

Christmas was going to be so sad and lonely for me this year. You see my sister up in South Kemsie, New South Wales had invited my Mum & Dad up there for the festivities, and that's a long way from Melbourne! My other sister has three gorgeous children and I was planning to spend the day with them, but as they live well outside Melbourne (well, Lancefield/Kilmore) and I was having car trouble (and no air conditioning to boot!) I thought it too risky, especially as I am house-and-cat-sitting at present and would need to be 'home' in the evening to feed Lucky!

What was I going to do?

Leave it in God's hands! For the first time ever I was invited to not one, but two gatherings with good friends on the 25th and they were both warm, wonderful and fun! Not just because of the precious friendships they allowed me to share, but because they gave me a glimpse into their own family traditions.

The wonderful Austin family had gathered 3 'orphans' to their luncheon table and plied us with good food, such as an avocado based entree, and some delicious salads along with roast lamb, beef and pork with the best crackling ever!! (Also my favourite - roast pumpkin! Yum!!) There was this wonderful salad called a 'layer salad' and that, along with the entree were part of the 'must have' dishes on the day. You see they had been celebrating with friends for years, and Ginny always made these two items. Ginny was unable to be there for lunch this year, but her sons, daughter-in-law and traditional contribution were!!

The Sanders family also invited me for their traditional, simple evening meal. A BBQ of sausages, served with scallop potatoes and salads, followed by jelly and shortbread! With their parents (both sets) and our good friend Aveline, it was a terrific night! The kids were very impressed that the jelly was made in a big jelly mold, and there were also huge cold prawns served with the sausages! (Sorry anyone in the northern hemisphere... your loss!) I loved the kids who had been up since 4am!!!!!("Originally 4.08am", according to 10-yr-old Liam, but then "...made to wait 'til 5.30!!") Both of them had rosy cheeks and eyes just about hanging out of their sockets with exhaustion, but they were totally focused on using and assembling their gifts from the morning!

All in all one of the happiest days I've spent this year, though a little strange without Mum jumping up and down from the table and forgetting the stuffing for the turkey/chicken, or the hot pudding with hot custard (yes - even in the hottest weather!). But we spoke to each other and were thinking of one another, and that's what really matters, isn't it?

By the way - as my new friend Naomi (Nai) said, "isn't it funny how it's so much more enjoyable washing dishes at someone elses house??"

Happy Christmas everyone, and have a safe, peaceful and blessed year in 2006!

....days to Christmas

2005-11-25T12:41:00.001Z

It's a sad fact that for the next month we are going to get thoroughly sick and tired of Christmas music (or musak) everywhere we go. Don't get me wrong I love the heightened sense of purpose in the shopping centres, the smell of pine needles drying in the Aussie summer air, the anticipation of children checking and re-checking their wish lists and asking "how many more sleeps now?"

What I do not like is songs about snow!!!!!!!!

Why do we have to listen to songs about 'dashing through the snow...' or 'Frosty the snowman...', I mean what do they have to do with Christmas... or even December in Australia for that matter?????

If the songs were about Winter in Jerusalem I would understand. If they spoke of days gone by and specific Christmas traditions from Europe or the UK I might be a little more tolerant, but when you really think about the words of songs like 'Jingle Bells', they have no bearing on the season at all - Christian or physical!

There is no reference to Christmas in 'Jingle Bells' people!! Sing it to yourself... go on... right now! See, there's snow, sleigh, one horse... but no Christmas!

And what about those 'fake snow sprays'... what are they about??????????!!!!!!!!!!

Someone got some tacky, dry shaving cream, re-labeled it and convinced people that Christmas is just not Christmas without sticky white stuff on the window!

Christmas cards with snow on them??? Father Christmas in the snow! Cottages in the snow! Christmas trees in the snow!! Hello!! McFly!! It doesn't snow in the middle of an Australian summer!!!! Dur Fred!

my new campaign is "Say NO to SNOW!" - it's easy! Ask your friends why they chose to put fake snow on their windows, ask the shop owner/centre manager why they are playing songs about snowmen, refuse to buy or give Christmas cards with snow on them to family and friends (unless it came in a pack of 50 and you really don't like the person anyway!)

Best of all! Insist on giving cards which reflect the true meaning of Christmas - "For God so loved the world that He gave his only Son"

books...

2005-11-19T07:24:00.000Z

There's no excuse for this blog except to tell you about the books I've read in recent months!

I have re-read the 'Harry Potter' books in order, this year, so that I was up to speed when the new one, 'HP & the Half Blood Prince', was published, & I have also read aloud the first book, 'HP & the Philosopher's Stone', to my little charges - 7-year-old Cameron and 6-year-old Matthew - who have devoured it with me and asked the most wonderful questions. We are half way through the 2nd book together, 'HP & the Chamber of Secrets', and their comprehension is amazing!! 'HP & HBP', by the way, was my favourite so far! (& I read it in two days, despite attending a bush dance fund-raiser, and Sunday morning worship!)JK Rowling is one remarkably talented author, and I am already anticipating the 7th, & final, book in the series!! (which she has yet to write!!)

I've read 2 books by Sally Beaumont this year. My sister gave me 'The Landscape of Love' for my birthday and I found that once I picked it up I couldn't put it down! (yes there were some mornings when I arrived at work looking like I had a hang-over!!). The latest book I read by SB was 'Rebecca's Tale' a sequel to 'Rebecca' by Daphne DuMaurier (another author I like), and it was wonderful - very believalbe but also impossible to put down!! (these books really should come with a warning!!) There was only one character which I was disappointed in - one which I felt was starting to grow at the end of the Daphne DuM book set 20 years earlier, but in whom I saw no personal growth now. Still highly recommended!

I have just started reading 'Birdsong' by Sebastian Faulks. Set in Belgium in the opening chapters, Stephen is a Lancashire man who is studying the practices of the mills in Amiens... it seems that later he will return to the area as a soldier of WW1. I will keep you posted on my thoughts on this one!

Go on... what are you reading my drivel for - go get a good book!!

Days of our lives!!!???

2005-11-15T09:59:00.000Z

I was just watching 'The Bill' which used to be a terrific UK police drama and now falls squarely into the category of UK soap! I found myself wondering, what is it that drives us to spend our lives watching TV about other people's lives, whether real or fictitious?

Yesterday I watched an episode of 'Super Nanny' - and being a nanny myself I was really moved to see the progress which a family made with their 3-year-old autistic son, but sometimes Super Nanny is more of a sensational 'reality' programme than an educational one (though I must say a big "thanks" to the producers for deconstructing the previous stereo type of either a matronly woman in a starched uniform, or "Miss Fine" from Flushing, Queens! Does anyone remember Phoebe Piccadilly... and her proffessor?)

Then there's the whole confrontational 'reality TV' phenomenon where people are put into far from reality-based circumstances and then systematicly demoralised, judged, criticised, degraded and finally 'voted off' (take your pick from 'Idol', 'Biggest Loser', 'Survivor' ...and all the knock offs along the way!)

My own UK relatives love the Aussie soaps - you know - 'Neighbours', 'Home and Away' etc. The best one, I think, is probably 'Blue Heelers' - the idea that one little town like Mt Thomas has that many murders (serial or otherwise) makes you wonder why anyone would live there????!!!!

I wonder what we could achieve if we spent less time watching, judging and fantacising about the 'Bold & the Beautiful' people on our small screens? Maybe we could learn not to be judgemental? Actually spend that extra time with our children (which Jo Frost is always encouraging us to do)? Read and learn with a discerning mind? Borrow library books? Visit museums? Reconnect with family and friends whom you never have the time to catch up with...???

Sorry, I'l have to leave it there, I haven't watched last nights episode of 'Cold Case' ... and it was the season final! By the way, does anyone know when 'The West Wing' is coming back on?????

lest we forget...what was it again?

2005-11-10T13:21:00.000Z

I have a passion for history and in delving into my own family history I am astounded and saddened by how many members of my great-grandfather's generation were killed in the 'Great War', you know - the one that was supposed to put an end to all other potential wars?

I already knew the statistics of course, and they are staggering. Very little research will tell you how many millions of young men died - not only at ANZAC Cove (& the legends we were brought up with are predominantly true by the way) but at the Somme, the name given to the battles with raged primarily along the valley of the Somme River.

I discovered one sad fact in my research. Although many of my Grandparents generation lost their father's and uncle's, there was one member of my Great-Grandfather's family who, though engaged to be married, did not leave any descendants behind. Samuel Small (my G-Grandfather) had a brother called Frank. Frank was killed on 6th July, 1915 near the Belgiun town of Ypres, and though two other brother were also killed in the Somme, it touched me that he did not have any grand-daughters, or great-grand-daughters to remember his death. So on 11th November each year I get out the tiny photograph of a good looking young man in uniform and great coat, hands in pockets, leaning on an unseen table or chair, and I 'remember' him... because nobody else does.

Why are we still not getting it?

The life each one of us is given by the grace of God, is a gift to be used. I am sure that in the fervour of the time Frank, and his domed brothers, believed they were making a choice with their lives that would change the future for the better. But less than 20 years later millions more would die in another global conflict.

And it still goes on today. Every war is futile, and every life lost in conflict is a life wasted. If the money spent on wars was channelled into water purification, treatment and prevention of the spread of hiv/AIDS, education, food production and research into renewable energy resources we would see a genuine global revolution, and in a very short time too!

So if you are still wondering at my clutching a little photo, and wearing a sprig of rosemary on 11/11 each year, it is not to glorify the soldier, or the act of war. It is to remind me that a young man lost everything, even his potential decendants, and that I have to mourn his lonely, violent passing in order to care enough to do something to prevent all the other, future young men from having to do the same.

getting back into the dating game...?

2005-11-09T09:40:00.000Z

What is it with dating? I am 38 years old and have been happily single for a long time, but I've been thinking about asking someone on a date recently and find that, in reality, I am 16years old and far from the ordinary, mild-mannered guy he seems to be, and far from the casual interest I have in him, I am actually a besotted school-girl asking the best looking guy in school to the end of year formal!

Is it because, by the time I am interested enough to actually ask a guy on a date I care too much what he thinks of me? Is it just the crippling fear of rejection and the suggested judgement that that entails?

I went to an engagement party for two wonderful friends last week, and felt that twinge of wishing I had a special someone who made me smile the way they both were! (Do you know what I mean?)

My options are clear, I can a) shut up and spend the rest of my life wondering what it is like to be smiled at like that over the age of 35, b) ask him (and any other subsequent hims) out and find out if rejection is really as bad as I think (OK I know it is as bad as I think already!!)?, c) ask my friend to ask his friend if he likes me, whilst practicing writing my first name and his last name in my homework diary (a tad difficult since I don't know his best friend or his last name!) or d) accept that I am undateable and be the eccentric aunt and slightly wacky friend who never has a date at any event and usually ends up taking my best friend (see I'm not 16, . . . coz I would never have been seen dead on a date with my best friend at high school).

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know what you're all thinking... stop procrastinating with the blogging stuff and get on the phone... except that I don't know his number!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-11-06T01:29:00.000Z

hello - it seems that I have finally reached the modern era of technology with my very own blog, so as I learn it will grow (or as I grow I will learn....learn to grow...???) For those of you who inspired me to do this (Natalia Brownowski, Kimando and Rhat!!) Thaks and give me heaps of feed back please!!
enjoy! CPW